Today is the 5th of November, infamous anniversary of Guy Fawkes’ attack on Parliament which was once labeled a terrorist attack and is now considered a bid for freedom from tyranny. Put on you mask and join the Million Mask March today if you’re so moved to protest any tyranny you feel in your life.
What Do You Have In There?
Let’s start your day with some police abuse. A fellow in New Mexico was pulled over on a routine traffic stop. That’s as far as we can write this story before it goes wonky. He was quickly pulled over for rolling through a stop sign and the officer asked him to step out of his car. He did so and the officer observed that the man appeared to be clenching his buttocks. This became probably cause to suspect he had a buttload of drugs. The man was detained while police contacted a judge and secured a search warrant. For an anal cavity search.
The police took the man to a hospital where a doctor refused to look in the man’s backdoor, calling it “unethical.” Lucky for the cops, at a nearby medical center there were less ethical medical personnel on hand who x-rayed the man, performed two rectal exams, forced him to have three enemas, then another x-ray, then they performed a colonoscopy.
The man consented to none of this, the warrant wasn’t even valid in the county where the medical clinic was and it was valid until 10pm while they continue procedures until 1 in the morning. No drugs were found and now the man is suing pretty much everyone he saw that day, and for good reason.
From India to Mars
Were you aware India has an active space agency? They do and they just launched their own mission to Mars. If they make it, they’ll come in fourth after the US, Russian and the European Union to reach the red planet.
As you might expect, some people have questioned why a country in which millions of children live in poverty and have no food is spending millions of dollars to send a probe to Mars and the answer to that is a series of misdirections and shrugs about how the country is still a world power even with massive poverty and other assorted nonsense.
Salsa is Number One!
Salsa outsells ketchup as America’s number one condiment and tortillas outsell hotdog and hamburger buns. Yes, Hispanic foods are popular enough to be newsworthy now. That includes tortilla chips and tequila, too. Isn’t that great? Celebrate the $8 billion Hispanic food industry with some Doritos and tequila tonight.
There’s really no news here, we just want some Doritos and tequila. Anyone?
Houston Police Are Never Wrong
For the last 6 years, Houston Police have not found a single police shooting unjustified, which is great for the community that their police are so responsible and…what’s that? Oh. Yeah, there was that one time last year when police shot a man in a wheel chair who had one arm and one leg. According to officers on scene he backed one officer into a corner and slashed at her with a metallic object, forcing her partner to shoot the man. Of course that object was a pen and the man, in a wheel chair, with only one arm and one leg must have had an awful time both moving his chair and slashing with his pen, but the HPD determined the shooting was justified, so it must have happened that way.
This shooting happened last year and many believed it was clearly a case of police wrong doing. Surely police could have handled a mentally ill, one-handed, one-legged without deadly force, right? Well, no. The officer has been cleared of wrong doing and Houston continues to be protected by responsible police officers.
She’s Lovin’ It
Crystal Greer Brooks really wanted a Big Mac. So much so that, when her boyfriend decided he wanted to go to a different restaurant, she forced him to pull over and got in the driver’s seat so that she could run him over, three separate times, to drive home the point that she wanted to go to McDonalds. Police found her boyfriend with abrasions and tears consistent with being dragged across pavement. Brooks was charged with aggravated assault. No word on whether that was before or after lunch.