It’s All Saints Day, so time to put away your Spice Girls albums and listen to that one single by that other British girl band today. Remember them? No? Eh,forget it then. On to the news.
No More Yellow Mac and Cheese
Let’s start the day after Halloween with some healthy food news – Kraft has agreed to stop adding yellow dye to its macaroni and cheese, thus ensuring your tape worms will have to enjoy a less exotic life.
On the other hand, they’re not removing the dye from their normal mac and cheese, just Spongebob and Halloween mac, which will have the dye replaced with paprika so that Spongebob can enjoy a little Middle Eastern flair. There was a petition to change the dye on Change.org but Kraft isn’t doing it for that reason, apparently. They’re doing it to make three of their les popular products very mildly better for the consumer. That’s nice of them.
Long Live Mayor McCrack
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The mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford, is not going to resign his position despite Toronto police holding a press conference confirming that, as part of an ongoing investigation, they have in their possession a video showing the mayor smoking crack. The mayor of Toronto, Ontario smokes crack on video but doesn’t see it as a reason to quit his job. Possibly because he’s still smoking crack and can’t see why it’s a bad thing.
Speed Racer? Not in Seattle
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Seattle police are cracking down on speeders, which is generally fine, except they’re also including cyclists in their crackdown. Anyone on a bicycle in a school zone caught speeding will be getting ticketed as some cyclists doing 29 to 33 mph on a downslope through the 20mph zone have.
About 1% of citations written in Seattle go to cyclists, who are expected to follow the same rules of the road as drivers in cars. This summer in San Francisco a cyclist was convicted of felony manslaughter after running down an elderly pedestrian, so the law isn’t without merit. Just keep that in mind when you’re guessing how fast you’re going on your bike.
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Emergency crews were dispatched to a Brooklyn prep school when a noxious odor was reported in the building. As you might have guessed, that odor was Axe body spray. Someone released the Axe in a room full of 6th graders and EMS took 8 students to a hospital while parents took two more to their own private doctor suffering from severe cases of stinking complicated with being wusses. Listen, everyone makes jokes about Axe – for instance how did the EMS workers push their way through the throngs of horny women the spray attracted – but to send 10 people to hospital? To not even realize it was Axe that was sprayed? I have no hope for the education of the students at this lame ass school.
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A group of friends having fun out on Halloween paused to have an argument outside of a bar when they were confronted by police. Not about to let some asshat in a police costume ruin their night, Andres Lopez decked the cop and continued his argument, only to find out shortly thereafter that the cop he punched was not an asshat in a costume but an actual police officer. So he went jail.