The weekend is over but don’t worry if you missed out on the big news because we got your back, man. We got this! Here’s what’s buzzing that you need to know about.
Pope is OK With Gay
Because the new Pope exists solely to not be the old Pope and maybe really annoy super traditional Catholics, he’s come out in a press conference (not as gay) to say that he would not judge a member of the clergy based on their sexual orientation. The exact quote was "If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?" which is remarkably decent and progressive of the leader of a major world religion that bases most of its beliefs on ideas from 2000 years ago.
Jewel Heist Still Happen
It’s rare you hear about a heist these days but it’s delightful when one pops up because it sounds glamorous and European and you kind of hope maybe Matt Damon and George Clooney were involved. That said, this heist was on the French Riviera (so far so good) and involved a lone gunman stealing $50 million in jewels.
To make things slightly cooler, the heist happened at the hotel where Alfred Hitchcock filmed “To Catch a Thief” starring Cary Grant and happened just after a member of a notorious gang of jewel thieves escaped from a Swiss prison. So this will absolutely be a movie one day.
Oh man, FOX News, you need to step up your game. FOX interviewed religious scholar and author Reza Aslan and the result is that a clip of the interview is on pretty much every website ever. Because it was a great interview? Interesting topic? Something unexpected happened? Oh no, because it’s potentially the worst interview in the history of ever as the FOX news anchor makes herself look like the most ignorant fool to ever get in front of a camera and question how a Muslim could write a book about Jesus as though she were wondering why someone would train a monkey to drive a car. It’s completely idiotic and by the end she still doesn’t get it while Aslan and the audience are left shaking their heads.
This Saudi is Outie
Saudi Prince Khalid Bin Farhan Al-Saud has defected from the royal family of Saudi Arabia, basically calling the ruling party corrupt like nobody’s business and accusing them of running the country not according to law or Islam but according to their own whims and desires.
The Spanish Train Disaster Charges
The driver of the train that killed 79 people has been formally charged with 79 counts of homicide and numerous counts of causing bodily harm as a result of his professional recklessness. Not much else to say about that except, if he’s true he was speeding through that curve just because he enjoyed pushing the train too fast, he deserves whatever he gets.