TGIF, guys! Remember when people said that? Never talk to people who say that for real. Ignore them and read this instead, the best and biggest stories buzzing around the internet.
“I Want to Die”
The driver of that train that derailed in Spain yesterday is quoted as saying, mere moments after being pulled bloody but relatively uninjured from the wreck “I have f**ked it up. I want to die.” That’s a pretty straight up damning confession.
He’s in custody currently while the investigation continues, however yesterday it was discovered on his Facebook page that he wasn’t above boasting about pushing the train beyond its limits and that he bragged about making the train go as fast as possible.
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The Lincoln Memorial has been shut down until further notice thanks to vandalism. Someone decided Honest Abe was lacking color and splattered the famous statue with green paint, a move which can best be described as ignorant and dickish. It’s fine and even proper to question your government, less so to make a mess of art and history.
The monument was closed Friday morning and cleaning crews will be called in while, presumably, someone will be checking security camera footage for a green-fingered jackass.
The Disgrace of Pregnancy
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Every day, someone, somewhere in the world goes out in public and says something no one else is saying, having never stopped to wonder why people aren’t saying the same thing. The reason, of course, is that it’s ridiculous. Like no one would ever say pregnant women shouldn’t go out in public because that’s kind of dumb. No one except the Turkish lawyer who just said it on TV, including such insights as a woman in late stage pregnancy looks immoral. There’s no explanation for that, by the way.
Given a chance to maybe take back or change his statements later, he decided his hole wasn’t deep enough and went on to explain maternity leave is not for women to wander the streets but stay home and they are not aesthetically pleasing. In fact, the way pregnant women look is why younger women fear pregnancy.
Cry for BP
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BP Oil wants you to feel bad for them. Yes, they’re directly responsible for a huge ecological disaster and yes they clumsily tried to cover it up, lie about it or lessen what happened in the media so as to get away with it but hey, who’s the real victim here? Turns out, according to BP, they’re the real victim. Not the ocean, or the millions of dead animals, or the pollution, or all the people on the coast who have destroyed properties and livelihoods. It’s BP, because they have to pay out a lot of settlement money and they’re pretty sure some people are trying to defraud them, and that’s bad for America. It’s like…what did they do to deserve this?
Oh yeah, that massive ecological disaster that they clumsily tried to cover up, lie about and lessen in the media that polluted the ocean, killed millions of animals and destroyed the property and livelihoods of countless people on the coast.
Lake North Pole
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Time lapse footage shows the geographic North Pole is now a lake. Sure, you could argue it’s summer and ice will thaw in the heat, but it’s sort of not supposed to at the North Pole. The buoy in the center of the image is normally rooted in ice all year round. Now it’s floating in water.
The lake will freeze up again when temperatures go down, but the general consensus is that next year we’ll have a bigger lake that lasts longer, and then again, and again, until eventually it’s just water across the north every summer.