Happy Thursday all! No time to scour all the news and gossip sites for the best stories? It’s cool, we do it for you every day. We’re selfless like that.
Spanish Train Disaster
A train travelling up to 118 miles per hour in Spain near the town of Santiago de Compostela has derailed killing nearly 80 passengers while injuring 140 more. An investigation has been launched but the train was taking a curve at the time of the derailment and its speed was more than twice what it should have been.
Rescuers who arrived to find train cars piled on top of each other, on fire and full of passengers, described the scene simply as “hell.” Since the train had been inspected that morning and found in excellent condition, the investigation is focusing on one of the train’s conductors.
Choosy for Choppers
A retired veterinarian and her daughter who got lost climbing Mt St. Helens called for help from local EMT. A helicopter and a team of volunteers were dispatched and the woman and her daughter were found and the day was saved. Happy ending!
Just kidding, the woman didn’t like that the helicopter wasn’t fancy enough and she wasn’t injured enough to merit an airlift to a hospital, so while she was in the rescue basket, in midair, she used her cell phone to call a private helicopter rental company to come and fly her the rest of the way down the mountain.
The team of volunteers who went to save her had to walk back down the mountain.
In the middle of nowhere in Australia, a company called Linc Energy has struck oil. And not just a bit of oil, potentially a world changing amount of oil. Oil on par with Saudi Arabia, worth something like 20 trillion dollars.
Right now estimates of the amount of oil present are all over the place and probably won’t be reliable for a while still, but assuming what they think right now is true, then Australia just became the biggest oil producing nation in the world.
Does this mean cheaper oil prices for you? Probably not, but at least we probably won’t be going to war over oil any time soon. Unless the kangaroos start copping attitudes.
The Best Defense is a Criminal Offense
Lance Armstrong, one time bicycle enthusiast and world renowned doucher, is being sued by former teammates for defrauding the US government. According to the lawsuit, his use of performance enhancing drugs violated his sponsorship deal with the US Postal Service. He’s being sued for $120 million. So if it’s true he was on drugs, and it’s true that violated his sponsorship agreement, how could he defend himself? With arrogance!
Armstrong’s defense team contends that the US Postal Service should have known he was doping. There were stories in the press that he was doping and officials in charge of the deal never brought them up, apparently. And since they didn’t do anything about it, it’s their fault he defrauded them, not his. And if that doesn’t sound awesome enough, some legal analysts agree that it’s a pretty good defense. Didn’t think Armstrong would have the balls to do something like that.
Spies Like Us
If you weren’t sure what moves are being made to protect you and your privacy in the wake of this NSA scandal, wonder no longer. A plan to defund he NSA’s program that listens in on all your phone calls was just squashed meaning nothing at all will change and the government is firmly committed to not caring that you don’t want to be spied on. Because man, you’re going to be spied on.