Welcome to Friday! Man, where does the time go? Saving you the effort of Googling the news, we have all you need here to carry you blissfully into a well-informed weekend.
The Death of a King
Spain has a beer-drinking competition which, if you only read this sentence, sounds pretty awesome. Joaquín Alcaraz Gracia drank 6 litres of beer, which is about 1.5 gallons or 12.5 pints. It’s a decent amount of beer. It won him the trophy. And, according to witnesses, as soon as he lifted the trophy he started to vomit. And he kept vomiting. Then he passed out. Then he never woke up.
There’s a reason binge drinking is frowned upon, kids. Be responsible.
Fast food restaurants cannot catch a break. A 4-year-old at Burger King found a pipe stuffed full of weed inside his kid’s meal. That was not one of their advertised toys. An employee ended up being charged and said he hid the pipe in the meal so it wouldn’t be found on him while he was working. Good thinking, boss!
The Case of the Serial Pooper
Things are heating up in New Mexico in the worst way possible. A man has surveillance footage of a jogger who routinely pauses in her morning jog to poop on his lawn, and he wants it to stop. He is quoted as referring to it as “malicious fecal distribution.” And now this woman is immortalized on the internet, pooping on the ground and never wiping. Classy lady.
Hooters Has a New Logo
Hooters is rocketing into modern times by changing their old owl logo in favor of something modern and trendy. Oh wait, no, they just drew a different owl. Instead of an owl from a nature book, it now looks like an owl from an internet cartoon as part of an effort to update the chain’s presumably saggy, old image.
Detroit is Bankrupt
Yesterday Detroit filed for bankrupty, the largest such filing in US history. Why bankruptcy? Check out some of these stats about the city;
- 78,000 buildings in Detroit have been abandoned
- Average police response time is 58 minutes compared to the national average of 11 minutes
- Unemployment has tripled since 2000 and is more than double the national average
- 40% of the street lights in town don’t even work.
Detroit was kind of hopeless and this was the last thing they could think of to give them a fresh start. In the meantime, they’ll be sleeping on Cleveland’s couch.