The Daily Wrap: August 7th Staff by Staff on Aug. 07, 2013

You made it half way through the week, let us take part of the burden of knowing what’s going on off your shoulders by letting you know what today’s big stories are.

Al-Qaeda Uses Conference Calls

Yesterday we told you about a terror plot that had caused our government to shut down some embassies.  Today we find out that terror plot was learned about by intercepting an al-Qaeda conference call.  And that, in turn makes one wonder if they have a conference service where they all have to dial in the same number and state their name before pressing the pound sign, and the first terrorist to call in has to listen to an instrumental cover of a Chili Peppers song until someone else gets on the line.

Not to minimize an imminent threat from people who want us dead, but really?  Two dozen of these guys called in on a conference call?  Do they have team building exercises, too?


Ariel Castro’s House is Demolished

Ariel Castro, the monster who held three women captive in Cleveland for a decade and was sentenced to 1000 years in prison no longer has a house.  Bizarrely, the home where he had been holding the women was becoming a tourist attraction and to stem the tide of weirdness and put the kibosh on turning it into some kind of shrine, the whole thing was put down.

Castro is said to have cried when he signed over the deed to his house as part of a deal that saved him from the death penalty, remembering all the happy times he had in the house.  What an awful, awful human-like thing he is.


Fukushima Keeps on Disastering

Remember Fukushima?  That was the nuclear plant that had a meltdown in Japan two years ago.  Did you feel good when they fixed that?  Yeah, don’t.  They never fixed it and it has been leaking radioactive water into the ocean ever since.  How much water, you ask?  Good question – 300 tons of radioactive water flows into the Pacific every day.  That’s probably not too much, right?

Cleanup is ongoing and is only expected to take 40 years and $11 billion.  Should be no problem.


The TSA Are Everywhere

Because the TSA do such a bang up job at airports and no one ever complains, except how the exact opposite is true, their authority is now expanding beyond airports.  To where?  Where would someone trust the TSA and their terrible track record in addition to airports which already need a serious overhaul?  How about sporting events, music festivals, rodeos, highway weigh stations and train terminals?  Because maybe that Al Qaeda conference call was about taking out a rodeo and only a team of poorly trained and abusive jerks can stop them.  It could happen.


No Putin for Obama

President Obama was set to meet with Russian President Vladimir Putin but that meeting has been kyboshed thanks to tensions over Edward Snowden as well as apparently some issues with human rights and missile defense.  Sure the Snowden thing is a problem but everyone in the world except our own government and Donald Trump are pretty much on Snowden’s side, so that’s just a smokescreen .  The real issue is probably that Russia just banned the Bloodhound Gang because one of the band members jammed a Russian flag into his underwear last week.

Jerdabear User

still not as polluting as the corolla

TheeAthis User

300 tons of radioactive water into the pacific isn't the issue, the pacific will handle it thru dilution. The issue is, how much of that got into Japans water table? That's a much bigger problem.

Lexi-Mize-364 User

Good service - I'd like to get a fully fleshed version of this sent to my email every morning.


All this Al Cia duh stuff is just to reassure the sheeple that their illegal and unconstitutional spying with the NSA is actually working. Even though Al qaeda is a complete fabrication by the CIA. Its a joke. I live north of the border and I can't believe what you guys are putting up with down there.  I had to take a connector flight in the States, and it will be the last time I enter your police state.  Either you have to walk through radiation body scanners or be groped by some pervert. Just to make sure you don't have Alqaeda in your back pocket. What a joke. You guys gotta throw these authoritarian scum out. Wake the fuck up.


@Willow-Hill-995 Keep your arse up North of the Border.. (Beer Hunter!!!!)  I don't even know where to start with you, your right we have nothing to worry about and terrorist will never try and fly planes into buildings again or light their shoe bombs again.  While your at it, I want you to go tell the families of the 7 people killed yesterday at a soccer match in Yemen that there are no terrorists.  And since it is all made up and you have nothing to fear, do me a favor and go to the middle east and wander around for a while and ask to speak to some "fake terrorists"  I am sure that some will find you and "tell" you all about it.   Stop being so disrespectful to the Victims of 911 and get back on your meds.

WillyKillaKrakka User

@58THMPCO Dumbass, just keep your head in the sand..... the government only has the BEST intentions for you.... so everything is ALLL RIGHT. Dumbass ignorant SHEEP. You are the reason so many of our rights have been ripped from us... because you spend all your time with your nose in your iPhone and watching reality TV. Try googling NWO, Bilderberg, NDAA, Patriot Act, the list goes on. WE ARE FCKED!!!