The Daily Wrap: August 30th Staff by Staff on Aug. 30, 2013

This is it, the last wrap of the month and, arguably, the last wrap of the summer at least in terms of the summer anyone cares about.  Hope it lives up to the hype.

The 7 Year Lottery

So 7 years ago Robert Miles won $5 million on a scratch ticket and that ain’t bad.  Problem is, he took it into a place called The Green Ale Market, which probably didn’t have $5 million on hand anyway, and the clerks there convinced him that he only won $5000, not $5 million, but they’d give him the cash and take his ticket for him.  And, since he was addicted to crack at the time, he fell for it.

The clerks at the store, brothers, waited a few years to try to cash the ticket and then when they did, lottery officials were a bit suspicious so they started investigating.  Never trust a clerk at a store who sells lottery tickets trying to cash a several year old lottery ticket worth millions. 

Somehow the lottery board managed to figure out the original owner of the ticket and now Miles is getting his money, which he can take in payments over 20 years or as a lump sum which, after taxes, would be $2.1 million.  Look, he’s getting robbed again!


Fergie Had a Baby

Remember Fergie?  She’s the noise that makes you cringe the most when you hear a Black Eyed Peas song.  She also just had a baby with Transformer’s star Josh Duhamel.  Why is this news?  God, if we only knew.  Nonetheless, they named the baby Axl Jack, perhaps as an attempt to boost the popularity of Apple Jacks cereal, or maybe because they were changing a tire when the kid was born, we may never know.

The British Are Not Coming

Paying attention to Syria? It’s a bad situation over there and they’ve already resorted to chemical warfare against their own people.  Seems like only a matter of time before the US becomes involved in a ground war. However, if we do, some allies may not join in.  For the first time since 1782, the British Hosue of Commons has voted against its own Prime Minister, which is to say the leader of Britain wanted to .head to war in Syria.  The rest of his government has said no.  In 1782 they said no to continuing a war with Americans who wanted independence. 


Fast Food Strikes Continue

Fast food workers in 50 cities have staged walk outs in an effort to have their wage increased to $15 an hour while surely thousands of starving McCustomers have been left reeling and unable to properly feed themselves.

The problem with the strike, of course, is that they’d like more than double the current minimum wage for jobs most of us feel a potato could handle.  And while that is unfair, that’s the social stigma of an entry level fast food job.  These are jobs highschool kids can get, and no one is going to support them getting paid $15 an hour when there are skilled tradespeople and others out there who have gone to college to get degrees and work in their field who don’t even get paid that much.  And none of those behind the strikes seem to understand the concept of cost of living and how if everyone on minimum wage suddenly made more money, everything would simply cost more as a result and there would be no benefit.  But whatever, hold those McNuggets hostage, see of it works out for you.


The Nugent Problem

Most people know Ted Nugent as a crazy person, and that’s legitimate because he really seems to be crazy.  He likes guns and that’s awesome, but he also seems to shoot  pigs with a machine gun from a helicopter and constantly be under the impression that he needs to overthrow the government.  Plus he pooped himself to get out of military service.

Relax, Ted. 

Turns out his wife loves guns as much as he does and is just as ignorant as him as she tried to take one on an airplane.  If you try to get on a plane with a gun in 2013, in America, there’s no real excuse you can offer to ameliorate just how stupid you clearly must be.  Also of note, Nugent’s wife is named Shemane, which sounds like He-Man’s genderbent doppelganger.  That’s not news, just an observation.

Kyle-Little-302 User



Break, yall are just a 15 minute behind copy of Liveleak. Go fuck yourselves.

Valeasaz User

I'm going to need to see a video of Ted Nugent shooting a pig from a helicopter with a machine gun. Until I do, you're just making that up. 

DFSouth User

I liked how they used ameliorate in a story about being dumb. HEY LOOK! The person writing this isn't dumb, and to prove it we'll use a totally obscure word we found in the thesaurus.

While we are on the subject, is there another word for thesaurus?

Greenheat User

That paragraph on the fast food strike was the smartest thing ever written on break in its entire existence. Good Job.

Jerbalmya User

Ted Nugent is 'merica at it's heart


The fast food workers are insane, lets demand higher pay by walking out of our jobs instead of learning skills and getting educated to get better jobs, new illegals will just take their place

schlock1977 User

Half the people working in fast food are illegal anyway..IMO they shouldnt even get the minimum wage.  

IN addition, all fast food joints should burn to the ground.  This is why Americans are two legged hogs now.  Obesity, diabetes, even child diabetes have increased several hundred percent over again (according to Mens Health) in the last 10 years.  

Bmore-Citizen-220 User

Ok, so if they raise the minimum wage to something closer to $15 bucks, it would cost something close to an additional 17 cents on the price of your burger- come on son!!!  Pay the extra 17 cents, so all can move forward.  I'd like to see you work the fries and be on your feet for 8 hours, frying burgers and listening to stupid people act like they've never seen the menu before.

KKTPP UserTop Commenter

what i think of this   8========D., ,.,. ., ,. (     Y    )

JMori User

Seriously Break USE A SPELL CHECK!!! 

"British Hosue of Commons"

jbart321 User

Ted Nugent would make a better President than that retard Obama.

nofunitalian User

@Valeasaz you sure sound like an all merican piece of shit. lol go kill ur self.

IamObama User

@Valeasaz  I just watched it. There's a hunting show called 'Pigman the series' that aired the second of two shows today with Pig and Uncle Ted where they shot from a heli. Ted went full auto with a .223 and they killed hog after hog. It was an eradication and not really a hunting show, I guess the hogs are just tearing up central Texas and this is where they are at in trying to slow them down some.


@OCNEONJ better yet have some work skill most people out of school have no experience in what they are doing anyway. still in debt for nothing

darkhelmet33527 User


Ok, so lets give them that  $15...then what about teh guy that makes $15 an hour now? Should he, who has actuall skill, now continue to work for minimum wage? Hell no, he is gonna demand a raise because unskilled workers make what he makes. Then the next guy up will want a raise...See the snowball here? The cost of everything, not just the burgers, will go up. Then teh raise everybody got wont be worth shit...


@Bmore-Citizen-220 I'd like to see you read a book on economics for one hour. Dolt. A burger costs a dollar at MDs, 17 cents is a 17% increase in cost... That increase will be paid by the consumer, who wont visit fast food as much if it isnt cheap, which means your burger flippin a$$ wont have a job to complain about. Not to mention raising the minimum wage only raises the price of EVERYTHING YOU BUY from bottled water to homes - it all goes up. So come on "son" pull ur head out of your a$$ and educate yourself, or work in fast food your whole life. I don't care, i'll still get my burger.

Bmore-Citizen-220 User


Only in your warped dreams. Killing pigs with a machine gun from a helicopter- dumb ass for real.  Tell your mom-aunt and daddy-uncle to check on your brother and sister some time- can't leave them in their room alone so much- need to stop this cycle. 

nofunitalian User

@darkhelmet33527@Bmore-Citizen-220 the fast food workers here in northern alberta make 20-22$ hrly, 22$ canadian=20.89 american. i still pay i think its 5$ for my big mack. 2 for a double cheese burger. and get my timmies for 2$ every day.passmore428 and darkhelmet33527 have no idea what they are talking about. give then the raise. 

KCjoker User

@Bmore-Citizen-220 @jbart321 The wild hogs are destroying the environment you moron Nugent is doing us all a favor killing as many as he can.  Do some research before you speak about things you have no clue about.


@Bmore-Citizen-220 @jbart321 Wild pigs are a big threat to the environment and farming in many states, Hunting from a helicopter is the easiest way to eradicate them because they are very hard to hunt on foot. But I expect nothing less than ignorance from a fast food worker. 

IamObama User

@Valeasaz  Umm....yeah. I guess if it's not listed as a 'machine gun' in Call of Duty then it's just not really a machine gun.

Valeasaz User

@Cody-Koma-656 @darkhelmet33527 @Bmore-Citizen-220 Northern Alberta, in the middle of nowhere is hardly the norm. A quick google search will show that the average pay for McDonalds employees in Canada is $8-$9 per hour..... American minimum wage. So, shut it, Canuck.