The Daily Wrap: August 2nd

Break.com Staff by Break.com Staff on Aug. 02, 2013

It’s Friday again and that means it’s time to ease on into the weekend with the news you need to know before you go.

What’s 4 Tons of Quarters Good For?

In 2001 Roger Herrin’s son died in a car accident.  The driver responsible was underinsured and there were 3 other victims in the car who survived.  Since that time, the survivors have been caught up in a legal battle over how the insurance should be divided.  Herrin was given the bulk since his son died, but other families appealed that decision and a court then ruled Herrin had to pay back the bulk of his to increase the money given to the others.  Herrin protested this by serving up the money in sacks – 4 tons of quarters totaling $150,000.

 

Ariel Castro Is Gone

Human scumbag and serial torturer Ariel Castro was sentenced yesterday for a laundry list of crimes related to the imprisonment and torture of three women in Ohio.  During his sentencing, Castro claimed he wasn’t a monster despite all evidence to the contrary, and offered some other incoherent tidbits of stupidity including claims what he did wasn’t torture and that the sex he had with his three captives was consensual, all because of a porn addiction.  In a nutshell he’s a deluded piece of crap who doesn’t deserve sympathy as he obviously has none of his own.  He’ll be in prison for 1000 years now.

 

The Lemonade Bandit

A 12 year old boy used a BB Gun to hold up a lemonade stand being run by younger kids and made off with about $30.  Unfortunately for him this isn’t the frontier and he’s 12, so there was pretty much no chance he would ever get away with it, and of course he didn’t.  In fact, he was taken into custody and, with any luck, one of his parents threw his Xbox in the garbage as punishment.  But you never know.

 

Deerly Departed

You can imagine how awful our world would be if baby deer were permitted to frolic at their leisure.  Good thing then that a team of armed officers raided a no-kill shelter that was holding a rescued baby deer, one day before it was set to go to a wildlife reserve, and euthanized the creature that was housed without a permit.

Nine Department of Natural Resources officers and four sheriffs’ deputies raided the facility, fully armed, before tranquilizing then euthanizing the deer.  When asked why they couldn’t have just called the shelter about the deer instead of staging a raid, an official from Natural Resources pointed out that the DEA doesn’t call drug dealers before doing raids.  Seems like a good comparison.  Crack comes from baby deer, right?

 

Just a Weather Balloon

Something fell from the sky in Norfolk, Virginia and was quickly sealed off by authorities who told anyone curious that it was a weather balloon.  Naturally this means it was a UFO or maybe a futuristic weapon of some kind because whenever the government says weather balloon, it must be one of those two, never before actually confirmed by anyone ever things.  It’s always one of those.  Even though it’s never been.  But it must be, because no one believes in weather balloons.  But they do believe in aliens.

2 comments
nofunitalian
nofunitalian User

I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola [LP version:
Coca-cola]
C-o-l-a cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lola
L-o-l-a Lola lo-lo-lo-lo Lola