The Daily Wrap: August 23rd Staff by Staff on Aug. 23, 2013

Welcome to Friday, y’all!  Take a load off with the final wrap of the week and contemplate how you’ll relax this weekend.

Teens Beat WWII Vet to Death

88 year old Delbert Benton was heading out to play pool when two unidentified suspects jumped him in the parking lot and beat him so severely he later died of his wounds.  The attack was apparently random and police don’t feel they knew Benton or had any particular reason to have attacked him at all.  This was two jackasses beating up an old man just because they could.

The suspects are still out there and hopefully they’ll be found soon, possibly after someone randomly beats the crap out of them.



In news that has made fanboys the world over shake their heads in dismay, Ben Affleck has been cast as Batman.  Only those who dare invoke the “what about Heath Ledger” clause have tried to defend this decision, in the desperate hope that this ridiculous casting choice will turn out to surprise everyone and be brilliant.

Here’s the thing, and forgive the editorialization – Heath Ledger had at least proven to be an actor with a better range than Affleck, even before The Joker.  Did Affleck give us Argo?  Sure, but he also dropped Reindeer Games, Phantoms and, most importantly, Daredevil.  Affleck has never convincingly portrayed a character that could be considered dark, troubled, brilliant, grim or harsh.  And, worse, this new movie is a Superman sequel.  Any crossover between Superman and Batman has seen Superman be the physical force while Batman is forced to use his intellect to match the Man of Steel – this Batman needs to be smarter than all previous Batmen.  He needs to be clever and cunning.  And he’s Ben Affleck.  But who knows, maybe it’ll be brilliant.  Remember Heath Ledger?

Uranium? Ouranimum

A man from Sierra Leone has been arrested after trying to sell 1,000 tonnes of uranium that was supposed to be destined for Iran.  So just how do you broker a deal for massive quantities of nuclear materials?  An undercover agent placed a classified ad for it and this guy answered.  Seriously.


The Scuba Smuggler

A Canadian man has been arrested after trying to swim some marijuana across the border, Scuba Steve style.  Turns out lots of people can see you when you’re swimming from Canada to the US, so someone just called border officials who fished him and his waterproof can of pot which had about 8 pounds in it, out and took him into custody.


Detroit Gets No Money, Honey

We all know Detroit is bankrupt, so what is the government doing to help it out? Lots of not much, is the answer.  In fact, there are dozens of foreign nations that receive more aide than Detroit.  Check out this graphic we found on the Huffington Post.  It’s kind of sad.

nofunitalian User

love how this has turned into a haven for inbred merica. fck you guys. imma go watch some olympus has fallen and maybe independence day...just to see mass amounts of mericans get off'd. hope the middle easts drops a bomb on you soon. :)

AJTheMan User

That first story is messed up. Really messed up. 

As for Detroit, we already bailed them out once.

Matt-Kim-806 User

you do realize that that city is smaller and less autonomous than most nations right?

NapalmEyes User

Uhhhhh....Batfleck? Really?

Geepa53 UserTop Commenter

I added up the totals we give to each country.  It came out to around $16 billion tax dollars that go over-seas.  $16 billion, with a B.

This country is effed up.  

onasphere User

Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Batman!

Bygnutz User

I am so disgusted. I can't believe our society would let this happen...Ben Affleck as the Dark Knight?! Fuck.

Paddlehead User

The messed up part of our foreign policy is that we are borrowing the money we send to all these other countries.  Screw foreign aid, save our country.  When will our "elected" officials truly represent us????

COHockey User

Those two scumbag POS's that beat that old man to death need to be killed. No capture, no trial, no paying for their incarceration, just beat them to death so they know how it felt.

jbart321 User

Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms.

Raspurtin User

We've raised a generation of savages. Young men with no real parents, no morale compass, no faith in themselves or something bigger than themselves, where even God is being outlawed - Desensitized to violence through Movies, Thug Music, Video games and a culture that glorifies violence, sexual aggression and lawlessness.

No wonder, a group of young men shot an Australian Collegiate Athlete to death for the thrill of it, where a group of 5 men and 1 women  abducted a young couple, raped the man, then cut off his penis, and hacked him to death while the young woman was made to watch before they gang raped her for hours before shoving chemicals down her throat until she suffocated and then burned her body. No wonder two young men shot a mother's 13 month old son between the eyes in front of his mother before shooting her for the money she had in her purse (which she didn't even have any).

Oh, did I mention that all these monsters except for one wanna be, were black. Don't get me wrong, not down on African American's, just the culture of having kids for money with no fathers, and in the process creating this same generation of savages.

SunVolt User

and 1st.  and 2nd. 

SunVolt User

Are we going to need a passport to visit Detroit now?  #3rdworldcountry #let'sgotodetroitsaidnobodyever

HockeyGuy90 User


A WWII vet died and you make a funny little spin off joke about it...

I hope you get the shit smacked out of you as well



I pledge if I find them first (Unlikely being where I'm from, but nonetheless) I will be one to do it!