Welcome to Thursday, the day on which, traditionally, everyone tries to think of a way to skip Friday. Here’s the news, maybe it’ll inspire you.
Bradley Manning is a Lady?
Bradley Manning, as you recall, was sentenced to 35 years in prison for leaking official documents which made him a terrible, dangerous criminal. Now you could compare this to the sentences handed out to soldiers who were convicted of murdering civilians and torture at Abu Ghraib and wonder how leaking documents is a more severe crime, but that’s the past and this is the present and in the present, Bradley Manning now wants to live as Chelsea Manning.
That Manning was transgendered had been brought up during his trial but now that he’s looking at forever in prison, he’s decided he may as well go ahead and be who he wants to be, and that’s a woman. As such, he wants to be referred to as “she” from now on and begin hormone therapy. Good luck with that, Chelsea.
Anonymous A Non-Threat
According to the FBI, Anonymous has been neutered. Remember how those zany hackers used to be in the news causing all kinds of mayhem and now you don’t hear so much from them anymore? The FBI says that’s because they arrested the core members of the hacker collective and all that is left are so low level mouth pieces and others too afraid to do much. That’s what the FBI says. Not us.
Others are quick to point out that yes, some members were arrested and it shook the group up, but when you’re an anonymous collective of internet savvy vigilantes who can shake up all kinds of trouble from the comfort of a office chair, it won’t be too long before they come back again with a new face that still looks a lot like Guy Fawkes.
Meth is a Hell of a Drug
Because no story out of North Korea is even close to sane, here’s another one to wrap your head around – according to a recent study, crystal meth is pretty much an epidemic in North Korea. What constitutes a meth epidemic? Estimates are that 40% to 50% of the adult population in the North of the country have a serious addiction. If half of the people anywhere other than the alley behind a meth lab are addicted to meth, you have a problem.
Yahoo Trumps Google
Like the popularity of Nickleback, this is one of those things no one can explain yet the numbers still support it – Yahoo has knocked Google out of the #1 spot on Comscore’s list of most trafficked sites, where it had been #1 since 2008.
How does Yahoo get to #1? They did just buy Tumblr so it’s possible they’re counting those views, or maybe they just have a time machine, hard to say.
It’s always fun when something from the ocean washes ashore and no one immediately knows what it is, so the press calls it a sea monster. This time it’s something in Spain, a 13 foot long, spikey corpse. Best guesses are an oarfish or shark of some kind, while stupider guesses include dragon. Know why it’s not a dragon? Because they don’t exist. Anyway, experts have pointed out that the spikes are likely just broken bones out of place and that, whatever it is, you’d need genetic testing to firmly identify it since it’s so decomposed, and who the hell would pay for that? Maybe Bigfoot.