It’s a brand new month, doesn’t it seem like we should have brand new news? You’re in luck, because we do.
Fast Food Strike
Workers at numerous fast food restaurants have walked out demanding better pay, up to $15 an hour, for the work they do at places like McDonalds and Burger King. The protest apparently has any number of goals and seems to be willing to accept unionization or just a liveable wage as alternatives. Naturally this is being met with some resistance because a liveable wage is clearly a preposterous idea. Give that to Wendy’s employees and next thing you know Wal Mart employees will want it, too. Then everyone who has a job will want to not be in poverty.
Rolling Stone Suffers Wrath of Internet Protests in Action!
Remember how angry everyone was that Rolling Stone would dare put the Boston Bomber on the cover of their magazine? Well all that ire paid off and taught the publisher a valuable lesson because they only sold twice as many copies of that issue as usual. Yeah!
Riley the Racist
Do you like the football? You’ll love this. Eagles Wide Receiver Riley Cooper was apparently on a field trip with his racist hillbilly stereotype class, dressed in full on sleeveless plaid shirt and all at a Kenny Chesney concert when he decided to bust out the racial slurs and threats on camera. Turns out he wasn’t being allowed backstage by a black security guard. You can imagine the anger you’d feel at not being allowed backstage to see Kenny Chesney. Of course he later apologized, probably more for being caught than actually doing it.
The Eagles have already fined him and presumably some of his teammates will have a chat with him later. Last we heard, one or two black people play football.
Edward Snowden no longer lives in an airport, the lucky dog. He’s been granted temporary asylum in Russia and has gone to Moscow where he can frolic and be free so long as he doesn’t dare do anything like what he did in America because if Pussy Riot is in prison for what they did, the Russians would probably bury someone like Snowden in the backwoods of Siberia. Russians don’t seem to enjoy irony though, so no one point that out to them.
Rob Zombie is a Cranky Old Man
Rob Zombie and his shrill, hard-to-watch-in-movies wife Sheri Moon Zombie don’t like skater kids and have complained about the noise from a skate park near their property. That Snowden story had some palpable irony but the idea of the Zombie clan complaining about noise is enough to fry a synapse or two, isn’t it?