The Craziest Break-Up Letter We’ve Read

I think the famous quote goes something like, “Hell hath no fury like a woman who discovers her boyfriend is talking to another woman on Facebook.”

And that’s exactly what this guy learned when he came home to find all his stuff gone and this lovely letter awaiting him. Take a read.


– We need to know what Keisi’s message was. Clearly, it had to be pretty suggestive for this woman to go to such extremes. Maybe something like, “Hey, boi. Dat dong of yours be banging my baby oven real good.” If I were a woman and read a letter like that to my boyfriend, I’d be pretty upset. Then I’d feel my boobs a bunch.

– The tiny hearts are a good touch, giving the letter a nice balance of sweet and malicious. I can only imagine she wrote it while grinding her teeth and clutching the pen like it was a rope she was clinging to above a deep chasm.

– This woman is an evil genius. Creating a scavenger hunt for his things? So mean yet so good. I hope they did all their physical loving in safe, private areas otherwise his things are going to get stolen. “Hey, look! That TV is just sitting in the Walmart parking lot. That means I can take it, right?”

– Log out of Facebook. I know it takes, like a ton of time to type in passwords, but just be safe, especially if you’re participating in nefarious conversations online. If you want to send private messages, use the mail. The USPS’ new slogan “You can’t digitally trace your affairs through snail mail!” is aiming right at you.

– She’s not completely innocent. It’s an invasion of privacy to get on someone else’s Facebook even if you are in a relationship with them. But, if she hadn’t done so, she would still be in a relationship with this guy. It’s one of those “lose-lose” situations. Or better yet: don’t cheat and be shady.

– Dudes, don’t double dip with the ladies. It rarely ends well. And contrary to those adult videos we watch, the women rarely want to fornicate together with you once they find out.