The 6 Biggest Mistakes Sony With The PS4 Launch

Sony’s big PlayStation 4 announcement was yesterday and if you were like us, you were watching with great anticipation… and great anger. Sony had the world’s stage and managed to mess it up pretty good. Here are the six biggest mistakes Sony made yesterday.

1. OMG Sharing

Sony spent about 15 of the conference’s 20 hours talking about how great the next PlayStation will be at sharing. Share everything with your friends! Share it on Facebook! On Twitter! On every platform possible! Personally, I can’t wait until my mom “likes” my Killzone Shadow Fall achievements!

Also, if you’re one of those lone gamers, Sony will hate you and make you feel bad about it. You better make friends, STAT, before PS4 comes out.

The idea of sharing stuff with friends is great, but to start off such an important press conference with talking about this idea to death is, well, death. We had a bad taste in our mouth and it seemed to only get worse.


2. Knack

How much time was spent on this game? Tons. Tons of time that was supposed to be hyping a machine we should WANT to spend $400 on was spent talking about a game that was made to show us how much shit can move on the screen at the same time with the PS4. The entire trailer was basically saying, “WOW! LOOK AT THAT THIS MOVING SHIT!? IT’S SO MUCH MOVING AT ONE TIME! ISN’T THAT NEAT? GUYS? ISN’T THAT NEAT? SHARE THIS NEATNESS WITH YOUR FACEBOOK BUDDIES!”

“Look at all this sharped-edge shit that is moving around on screen! IT’S THE FUTURE!”

While this game could be fun, it’s stupid to dedicate so much time to it when you’re suppose to be trying to SELL the damn machine. Sony always messes these events up. We care about what’s inside, but we don’t need to lead off with that. You don’t start a date by telling the other person, “So, my kidneys are really cool and my spleen? You have no idea!”


3. Sony Should Have Started Here

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This looks awesome. It makes us think, “oh, we could see spending money on this.”

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How come Sony didn’t start the conference off here? With Killzone Shadow Fall and Deep Down? Oh, that’s right. Because Sony execs are stupid.


4. A Game Where You Sculpt Things?

So you and your buddies can sculpt something together? That’s cool, but we already know how EVERY SINGLE SCULPTURE WILL END UP:


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5. No Crash Bandicoot

These game developers spent so much time explaining convoluted plots and arcs of these games and nothing really got us that excited. But, if one developer had simply came out on stage and said, “Imagine a world where you’re a bandicoot that smashes boxes,” we would have forked over our money right away.

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Just imagine all the box shards flying around on screen!!!!!!!!!!!

6. No Console

Sony said they needed to hold some things back to keep the excitement going. That’s a bad excuse. They knew everyone wanted to know what the machine looked like. This is like taking a woman on a date and all she does is talk about her boobs, then you don’t get to see the boobs. It’s marketing BS and Sony knows it.

In the end, we know what the insides are like, we know that it shares, we know that it can look awesome, and we know that it SHARESSHARESSHARES. We also know we’re probably buying the new Xbox.