These Texas State Fair Foods Were Probably Invented By An Obese Mental Patient

Fair foods usually aren’t the most healthy fare. They aren’t even made with nutritional value in mind. They are just designed to taste good, no matter how many calories, grams of fat or shovels of butter are required to make them.

Deep Fried Sriracha Balls

Texas’ annual state fair, however, seems to try and find new ways to stop people’s hearts with dishes that can cause arterial blockage just by smelling them. Every year, competitors come up with new ways to deep fry dishes and foods that were never meant to be seen in the same room as a vat of boiling oil, and the fair actually gives out awards to people for creating what can only be described as the predator drone of snacks. They can not only take out their intended target, but the rancid, bodily smells they produce can knock out a few innocent bystanders as well.

This year’s fair features a number of award-winning dishes that will make you realize why America has a crippling obesity problem. It’s the same reason Rascal scooter salesmen manage to reach their quotas so easily each month.

[[contentId: 2764883| ]]

Funnel Cake Ale

One of the top awards went to the creator of the Chicken Fried Loaded Baked Potato, a halved potato topped with all the fixings like bacon, sour cream, and cheese that was slowly lowered into a deep fryer. Other entries included Deep Fried Smoked Brisket, a Texas Fried Chicken in a Waffle Cone, Deep Fried Pork Rind Nachos, fried Sriracha balls, and Deep Fried Milk and Cookies on a Stick. And of course, you could wash this all down with a glass of Funnel-Cake Ale. We need a nap after writing that sentence.

The strangest of the bunch goes to the man, woman, or hell beast who thought of making Deep Fried Sweet Tea. That’s a combination that not even a whacked out stoner could come up with after a night of consecutive bong hits and THC infused gummies.

[[contentId: 2764884| ]]

Texas Fried Chicken

Apparently, everything is bigger in Texas, and that includes enlarged hearts. (Source)