Most schools might be trying to stop the scourge of baggy pants among their students but one Texas school recently bucked this trend to combat another scourge: unwarranted pooping.
An elementary school in the Gustine Independent School District in the tiny town of Gustine, Texas has been having a problem with someone pooping on the floor of the gymnasium. Apparently, the problem got so bad that a teacher or some teachers rounded up a group of suspects and conducted a thorough poop inspection in the hopes of finding the identity of the “Unadooker.” This sounds like a job for investigative journalist Tina Belcher.
According to some of the students’ parents, staff members rounded up two dozen of the usual poopers and ordered them “to pull down their pants to check them to see if they could find anything.” Naturally, the parents are more than a little upset but school administrators controlled the inspection by asking students to not completely remove their pants.
Besides, what did they think they were going to find? And if they did find something, how could they prove that it was them that pooped on the floor? Were they going to do a color comparison or check and see who had corn earlier that day? Did they run a DNA test? Was the local CSI team somehow involved?
Just like a wise author once said, “Everybody Poops.” Which means only Hall of Famers have the courage to poop on gym floors.
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