Teen Filmed Selling Virginity For iPhone 8 Gets Taught Terrifying Life Lesson

What would you do for an iPhone 8? Probably not a lot – unlike 17-year-old Xiao Chen, you and I are intelligent beings who realize that having the brand spankin’ newest electronics on the market isn’t important. Would we take it if it was free? Sure, why the fuck not. I could always use another paper weight in my office — but for Xiao, apparently she needed a new iPhone or else she was going to die. And by “die,” I mean “not be as cool/hip/trendy as her friends,” aka death to your average vapid teenager.

So like any entrepreneurial girl her age, Xiao decided to earn some money in order to afford the phone – just kidding, she went and posted an ad in an online forum auctioning off her virginity. I don’t even get the allure of taking someone’s virginity. They’re a virgin, which means they’re going to suck at sex. Yeah they’re totally clean and tight, but it’s more or less like taking a spin in a brand new car…but the car is a Pinto. Sure it hasn’t been touched, but you still have to hand-crank the windows down and stick your arm out the window to turn signal.

Unfortunately for Xiao (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), a vlogger by the name of Nana found her ad and decided to teach her a lesson in personal morals and safety.

Nana initially tries to talk Xiao out of the deal, however she replies saying “All I have to do is lie there, right? …We each get what we want. I’ve already thought it through.” The pair meet again later in a hotel room, where Nana hands Xiao a new iPhone 8 in order to gain her trust.

Things take a turn for the worse, however, when three more men enter the room and say they want to have some “fun.” They pin her to the bed, only to have Nana run out from the bathroom to stop the staged scene. “It’s not worth selling anything for just a phone,” he lectures her.

In the end, the three men leave the room so that Nana can continue his finger-wagging at the distressed teen. But the real question here is whether or not she got to keep the phone – if she did, then what lesson was learned here? SHE GOT THE PHONE AND KEPT HER VIRGINITY. And if not, then she went through a helluva lot of trouble and embarrassment for nothing.

Kids these fucking days.