There was a video that went viral about an Uber passenger getting pepper sprayed by his driver, and you might have already seen it here recently.
Luckily for fans of the “too weird not to get even weirder,” the story has taken on a new twist. A cinnamon twist, if you will. It seems that the drunken passenger was a marketing manager for Taco Bell, and now that he’s embarrassed the company, he’s no longer working for them.
“Given the behavior of the individual, it is clear he can no longer work for us. We have also offered and encouraged him to seek professional help,” the company said in a statement.
What did the drunken ex-tostada hawker do to get pepper sprayed? He “repeatedly hit him and pulled his hair.” Wait. Pulled his hair? Is this a drunk or a seven year old girl?
This of course has us thinking of several other offenses that would cause someone to be fired from Taco Bell. A few are obvious, such as working at the drive-in and saying “Welcome to Del Taco. May I take your order?” Others are less obvious, like suggesting that a female customer smells like a tuna fish gordita. Or perhaps turning a chalupa into a projectile missile.
We think though that the cardinal offense would be to insult that venerable image of Taco Bell propriety – the beloved Taco Bell dog. The Chihuahua who could speak with a vaguely offensive and racist accent was a turning point in Taco Bell history, as well as in the history of vaguely offensive talking dogs. Imagine if you were to scream at the top of your lungs that “That dog is a jerk” right in the middle of the restaurant? Yep, they’d fire you for that too.
As to the other issue involved here – that Uber has a lot of drunk passengers – well that we will file away under the “Duh” file. Seriously, if not for drunks, Uber would go out of business in a week. That’s why we prefer sweet and nice drunks, not belligerent burrito pushers who pull hair.