Modern Life Ruins Sex?

Ian-Fortey by Ian-Fortey on Nov. 27, 2013



At least across the pond, anyway.  According to a poll taken once a decade of 15,000 Brits, people aged 16-44 are having sex fewer than 5 times a month (this is also known as the 'Break editor times 7' average).  The last two times this same survey was conducted that number was over 6 times.  So almost two whole humptastic rendezvous have been lost in a decade.  But where did they go?

The downward thrust, so to speak, is being partly blamed on economic issues – will I have a job tomorrow, can I afford these condoms I’m not even going to use for sex, that sort of thing.  But another, more sad, and awful reason, is modern technology and social media.  Thanks to tablets and cell phones, people are bringing the internet to bed with them so they can text, answer emails, tweet and check out hilarious videos on!  This in turn seems to mean a couple of times a month sex is getting bumped in favor of making fun of Kanye West on Twitter or watching some dude lip sync to Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball.

Also noteworthy is that porn may be replacing sex in some instances, apparently since you have your tablet right there anyway, and that 16-24 year old women are having the most sex out of anyone at 5.8 times per month (keeping in mind 16 is legal in the UK so this isn’t quite as uncomfortable as it sounds).

Be honest with me, do you ever play Simpsons Tapped Out instead of having sex?

Drake Smith
Drake Smith

You're. It's a conjunction of "you" and "are", you uneducated piece of shit

Eldridge Cleaver
Eldridge Cleaver

Yeah I'm sure thats why your single you and Sam DeWitt are some bust ass hoes

Sam DeWitt
Sam DeWitt

Eldridge Cleaver sits up playing candy crush on his phone and gives his wife nada

Sam DeWitt
Sam DeWitt

Eldridge Cleaver said the highest score he ever got on candy crush was when his old lady was deep throating that thing

Eldridge Cleaver
Eldridge Cleaver

Sam DeWitt has his lady perform falatio while he's playing candy crush and if she doesn't perform right he hits her in the head with his tablet and says get back to work on that mug

Lisa Arnett
Lisa Arnett

seems more a communication block than a tech issue

Michael Rodrigue
Michael Rodrigue

i will never go out with a girl that can't live with her fucking i-phone or galaxy or something like this kind of shit.. i myself have one but never will i use it when i have company ... they do it everywhere .. shame.

HollyWoodChaci User

My GF: "what ya watching on your iPad?"

Me: "Oh, some porno. Wanna see?"

My GF: "ummm, sure!"

Ten minutes later, we're knockin boots to the porno.

Sh*t. Social media and bringing the internet to the bed has worked great for me! Lol.

Chris Ol'Mate
Chris Ol'Mate

I have to use my smartphone, to text her, and email her to ask for it.....

Premium edition all the way.

Nick Georgeson
Nick Georgeson

I would be thrilled if my gf and I had sex once a week. And in fucking only 25.

mtlkitten User

It's not the technology that's keeping my husband and I from sex. It's a toddler and a newborn. Lol. And just being too damn tired.

Mimie Sasha
Mimie Sasha

SO true.!yOu and yOur candy crush..!! Andee Ace

Colene Larson
Colene Larson

Yes and that is a big reason I despise smart phones.

darkhelmet33527 User

Im going through a dry spell right now, so 5 times a month would be much more than Im getting. I feel like I couldnt get laid in a whorehouse with a hundred dollar bill sticking out my zipper....

Grease-Monkey User

I wish I could get it "only" five times a month. I have tried unsuccessfully for the last year and a half to get some.

Buttrocket-McGee User

It's not the electronics, it's the amount of awesome porn available with a couple clicks of the mouse button.  Much easier to get that than nookie.

RiotSt4rt3r User

My wife is always obsessing over mindless games on her tablet and I make fun of her a lot for it, which in turn reduces my lay ratio.


This only applies to men who lost their testosterone or don't know how to take the initiative. Fewer than 5 times a month? psh yeah right..

Jroi User

16 is legal in the UK, wtf?

OptimusC User

i play tapped out while having sex.....

ThatGuyYouKn0w User

"Do you ever play Simpsons Tapped Out instead of having sex?"

Ex is 100% guilty of that one. Hence why she is now an ex.

steve3911 User

The zombie apocalypse is already here. Instead of it coming at the hands of a virus, it's come at the hands of the small screen.

horsemanuk User

Didn't stop me getting laid this morning. Facebook doesn't even get a look in when I'm in the mood. :)

Simon-Cowell-825 User

@Jroi And you can also drink alcohol at 18 and they say america is the so called  land of opportunity