Stripper Steals Lube & Panties from Wal-Mart, Bites Off Employee’s Finger

Wal-Mart’s illegal/funny/sad incidents are always entertaining, and this past weekend did not disappoint. This one happened in Myrtle Beach (aka, Murder Beach), South Carolina and involved a stripper. That’s what we call a win-win!

Carolynn Wright, a sometimes stripper, was shoplifting at her local Wal-Mart, as one does.

carolynn wright poses in a bikini

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An employee tried to stop her and so she did what any logical shoplifter would do in that situation: She bit off the employee’s finger.

She also punched another employee in the head and grabbed the cell phone of a customer trying to call 911.

She then grabbed the customer by the hair before trying to flee. Her van (of course it was a van!) was stopped in the parking lot before police arrived.

What did she try to steal that was worth eating a finger for, you ask?

Bea Arthur GIF telling Rose to use condoms on Golden Girls

Image Source: Pinterest

Condoms, lube and panties were the items stolen…we assume those will be used in a different order other than listed.

These items totaled roughly $40.07. A finger costs around $2.35 these days, or you can just buy them from a vending machine. I think…

body parts for sale in a vending machine

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After her getaway driver was blocked in the parking lot, police arrested Wright.

Carolynn Wright's mug shot for assault

Image Source: The Smoking Gun

She was booked on aggravated assault charges and shoplifting. No finger eating charges were brought down.

On a sad note, the finger was unable to be reattached to the employee. Let’s all keep our attached fingers crossed for a settlement for this employee.

Wright, 23, just made a one-time, simple, crazy mistake, right? Wrong.

carolynn wright poses in the bathroom in a bikini

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It’s actually her second assault charge in 10 months.

She worked for a strip club last March, Chez Joey, and attacked another dancer with a high-heeled stripper shoe.

a spiked high helled stripper shoe

Image Source: Pinterest

That carried a six day sentence and a fine just under $200, plus court costs. These costs set her back so much that the poor girl needed to steal lube and condoms in order to have a good night.

We will update this when we get the link for her GoFundMe page…

Source: Huffington Post