Dirty, Stained Bed Artwork Sold For 4.4 Million Dollars!

Here is a general life rule to live by. If someone uses the phrase “art installation” you should probably leave. Unless you are a hip artist who knows how to make some cash. Tracy Emin is a British artist who in 1998 created an art installation titled “My Bed” consisting of her dirty, stained, unmade bed with torn pillow cases, cigarette butts, a half empty bottle of vodka, her dirty underwear  and for good measure an actual used condom. After viewing the artwork museum goers need a hepatitis shot.

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“My Bed” sold for 4.4 million dollars at Christie’s in London this week. You’re probably wondering what her inspiration for the piece was. Emin says the bed appears exactly how it was after she slept in it for days after a relationship break-up and she battled suicidal thoughts. Thankfully she put that frown upside down back in 2000 when she sold the bed originally for $200,000 to Charles Saatchi. Saatchi in turn flipped this hot piece of real-estate for 22 times that amount. I have a feeling the old, dirty, condom strewn bed market is going to be huge, so you should get in on it before the bubble bursts!

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Looking at this art, how does it make you feel? Think of all the great and postive things that 4.4 million dollars could buy! None of it however, not the food, the clothing and shelter for the needy or the donation to a charity fighting a disease could be better than the feeling of superiority and power that a person gets from spending that amount of cash on some lady’s sweat and soiled undies filled bed. I think blowing this amount of cash on something like “My Bed” is patriotic. That’s why I’ve come up with my own art installation and I encourage you to do the same.

“My Banana” is My Retirement Account

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Here is my work of art I plan to sell for 4.4 million dollars titled “My Banana.” It’s a banana I was eating for breakfast as I wrote this article. As you can see the banana exists in a quantum state; neither eaten or uneaten. It represents the choices we must face each day in life. Should I finish my breakfast or go hungry? Should I keep my work of art as is? Or would my banana “art instillation” sell for more money if I threw the peel on the ground and hired a scrappy homeless guy to pretend that he is constantly slipping on it in a never ending loop? I’m just asking questions in an attempt to seem thoughtful. What “art installation” would you create?

Critique Phil Haney’s art on Twitter @PhilHaney

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