This Massive Solar Plant Is Lighting Hundreds Of Birds On Fire Every Day

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on Aug. 19, 2014

The pros and cons for solar energy have been hotly debated in recent years. Now there’s another reason you may or may not like solar,depending on if you're a sadist.

At a solar energy plant in the Mojave Desert, 300,000 giant mirrors are used to reflect sunlight in order to boil water. This, in turn,, creates steam that turns electricity producing turbines. But don’t get too excited, hippies. The whole shebang has the adverse effect of creating a giant death ray that zaps birds flying overhead. So many birds are killed that the place is basically a 2.2 billion dollar bird cooker rather than a power plant.

Big Bird is going to be pissed.

Stopping Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" from happening in real life.

Birds flying overhead catch on fire mid-flight, and fall the ground dead. Workers there have dubbed the avian toast “streamers” because of the poof of smoke that can be seen when a bird gets fried. Essentially it’s like a humongous bug zapper on your porch. Or more accurately, it's like a kid using a magnifying glass to focus sunlight on an animal and torture it. I'm sure ou guys know what I’m talking about.

As you can imagine, lots of folks aren’t too happy that a facility trying to create environmentally friendly, reusable energy is also creating a negative impact on local wildlife. This isn’t just a random bird accidentally flying into the power plant. Federal wildlife investigators recently observed that at least one bird is getting zapped every two minutes

Made a wrong turn.

Super accurate estimates determined that between one-thousand and twenty-eight thousand birds may be killed a year. That’s why the wildlife officials are calling for an expansion of the solar plant to be halted until the whole bird death ray thing is figured out. BrightSource, the company in charge of the solar plant, is looking for ways to correct the issue and has already committed 1.8 million dollars on a program to try and help thwart the bird-fry’s. However I think they should leave it as is.

Hear me out. If they collect all the fried birds that the solar “death ray” zaps, they could donate them to a homeless shelter to feed the needy. Boom; kill two birds with one... 2.2 billion dollar solar power plant.

This is the Eye of Sauron for birds.

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney