Real Life Vampires Fear Discrimination

Take a moment to consider the sad life of a real vampires.  Not those posers who wear black and fake fangs, those people are weird.  No, the real vampires of the world are people who self-identify as vampires and ingest the blood of another, willing and consenting partner, in an effort to gain their energy.  There are really people who do this and they really believe they are vampires.  They really believe they can get energy from consuming the blood of another person.  And the director of social work at Idaho State University has tried to legitimize these people by studying them. 

According to research, those who identify as real vampires don’t like to disclose this fact to anyone, even professionals like doctors, for fear of ridiculous and discrimination.  Imagine that.  There’s a fear of being mocked or even diagnosed with a mental illness.  And god forbid a doctor declare a person who thinks they are a mythical creature from folklore as mentally ill, that would be horrifying.

Instead, according to the study of 11 really honest and ethical vampires, they tend to keep their identity on the downlow. Even though they were born that way and didn’t choose it at all.  Because that’s a thing.

The research seeks a link between vampires as a minority and other minority groups faced with discrimination and self-identity issues. The most obvious link is between vampires and someone like Caitlyn Jenner, a person born as a man who identifies as a woman and then later takes on that identity publicly.  The problem there, of course, is that first, the opposite sex is a real thing.  A vampire isn’t.  And there is already evidence from an Australian study, and a Spanish study, suggesting the genetics and the brains of trans individuals are different than those of others.  There’s an actual, scientific basis behind identifying as a man or a woman when you were born the opposite.  No such thing exists for vampires, mostly because they’re make believe.  It’s hard to be genetically make believe.

It’s a nice idea that we want, as a society, to move more towards tolerance and acceptance.  And we should, really, accept people for who they are.  All people.  But maybe just accepting them for who they are is enough, not who they pretend to be.  Because if you legitimately accept someone as a vampire, then you’re opening the door for werewolves, fairies and Batman.  You can’t be those things because they’re not real.  Just like vampires. 

Now if you want to pretend to be a vampire, that’s probably awesome for you.  It’s not a lot different than cosplay, really.  And if you have a partner who lets you drink their blood, that’s cool too.  People get off on all sorts of things.  But if you legit think you need the blood for energy, and you literally, seriously are a vampire, then that’s an issue and maybe something a guy with a PhD should probably consider before getting all sappy about minority rights.