This one is going to go on his permanent record. A 13 year old boy in Chicago was charged with a felony this week, for hitting a police officer with a snowball. The 8th grader has a pretty solid defense of “he did it!” The boy claims that he was wrongly singled out by the school’s dean and a nearby security guard, from of a group of 15 students walking home from school. Furthermore, the unnamed boy says the snowball didn’t hit the officer, but the cop’s squad car which he was sitting in at the time.
Does this situation seem fair to you? This happened with a group of middle school students, so I think middle school rules should apply. My middle school principal always said that “it takes two for a fight.” This meant that right after a group of nice young boys jumped, and beat the ever living shit out of the small kid, the small kid would also get detention for participating in a fight. It was sort of like reporting a mugging and getting locked up in the same cell as your attacker- it takes two! Middle school pretty much teaches kids the liberty and justice values of Saudi Arabia. So if we apply middle school judicial system logic to the situation in Chicago, shouldn’t the police officer in question also be charged with a felony? He should have just driven away! After all, you can’t hit someone with a snowball, unless there are two people. The officer was involved in a malicious snowball fight.
Many in the area have ridiculed the police for overreacting to the incident, giving the young boy a felony conviction that could have long lasting effects on his future. However, I have to wonder what other harsh punishments the Chicago PD may administer for snow related crimes.
Creating Snowmen with Wieners
This is a violation of an obscenity ordinance, punishable by a night in jail.
Building a Snow fort Without a Proper Permit
Making a Snow Angel Too Close To Public Property
Now someone is going to want to make a Snow Satan!