Sheltered Millennial Cancels Wedding 1 Week Out After Discovering Fiancé Watches Porn

It’s stories like these that make me want to embrace my inner crazy and punch random bystanders on the street, but not only am I too poor to afford the legal bills, but it wouldn’t be fair to sock anyone besides 21-year-old Claire Dalton in the face.

Girl Cancels Wedding After Discovering Fiance Watches Porn

You see, Claire had been dating her boyfriend for four years and the two were scheduled to be married in just one week. But things took a turn for the worse when Claire discovered that her man indeed had a functioning wiener:

Just a week before the wedding American Claire, who’s a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormons), and her fiancé were running errands for their big day – and she checked his phone to see if a shop was still open.

But when she saw his search bar, she realized he had “been searching for pornography possibly just hours ago”, and immediately “felt sick to (her) stomach”. (via)

Big shocker that Claire is a Mormon. Sorry to all the Mormons reading this, but y’all don’t exactly flourish in the PR department. If you guys want people joining your religion and not thinking you’re a bunch of prude diaper wetters who can’t handle the world outside of Utah, you need to take girls like Claire and throw them into Somalia. Put them in some real shit where things actually fucking matter – your fiancé watches porn? The least of your problems when you get sold into slavery. Dude’s got a secret folder full of Jenna Jameson nudes? Pretty inconsequential when you have literally been downgraded in status from a human being to a fleshlight.

Girl Cancels Wedding After Discovering Fiance Watches Porn: It Could Be Worse

And look, I hate being the one who’s like “OHHHH well it COULD ALWAYSSSS be WORSE!!!!!” Your boyfriend cheats on you, fine – come cry to me and we’ll crush a bottle of Jameson together over it. You whine that your sheltered existence is threatened by a little jizz in a sock, and I’m going to take that sock and rub it all over your face.

Frankly, I feel bad for the fiancé in this case – his community probably views him as Satan, whereas the rest of the world is probably like “Who?” So dude, if you’re reading this, just leave. Really. Here in the other 49 states we love watching porn unless you’re a crazed politician from the Bible belt, and even then those ones are just closeted gays who watch gay porn all the same.

[H/T The Sun]