She Looks Exactly Like The Sort Of Woman Who’d Get In Trouble For Trying To Mail Meth Into Prison

People make snap judgments all the time – it’s just our nature. Like when I see a kid kicking and screaming in the supermarket over a candy bar, I’m not shocked to see mom is ripping a cigarette and sporting a mullet so long she can use it as toilet paper. So when I say Sara Elizabeth Russell looks like she’d be the sort of person to try and send meth through the postal service, I really mean it:

Other things Sara Elizabeth Russell could do that wouldn’t surprise me: run an online Fortnite chatroom, eat paperclips for breakfast, cut her own hair, and be in the final stages of auditioning to be a wilted house plant in the local community college’s rendition of “CATS.”

But alas – we’re here because she was arrested on Thursday for trying to mail meth to a dude serving life for a double murder. According to Daily Mail, a worker in the mail room at the James V Allred Unit prison spotted a “bulge” behind a photograph Russell had mailed him, and upon further inspection “she discovered a clear package filled with white powder.”

Further testing showed that the powder was meth, and Russell was quickly arrested.

And if you’re wondering what sort of hot-schlonged inmate she went and risked her freedom for, you’ll be shocked – because Jason Burkett is a KEEPER compared to Russell.

Dude is HOT. Not hot enough that I would talk to him in real life outside of prison, but hot enough that I can see why Hellraiser up there hopped on the chance to be his meth wife. It might be the vacant look behind his eyes, the skull shaped like a brick or his luscious head full of hair, but no matter how insultingly you spin it, he’s a fucking catch compared to Russell.

In the end, Russell was charged with one count of having a prohibited substance in a correctional facility. She is being held on $10,000 bond, which she clearly does not have, as no one with even .03 cents would walk around with that haircut. Girl had just enough money to get her some good ol’ crack rocks, but that was it – and look at how well that’s gone for her.

[H/T Daily Mail]