Sesame Street Responds To Today's Shocking News About Gordon

According to the New York Post, Roscoe Orman, who played Gordon on Sesame Street, has left his "ex," Sharon Orman, destitute. They lived together for forty years, and she even took his last name, but they were never married, so when he decided to bounce and marry a much younger woman last December, there weren't really any loose ends as far as he was concerned. Now she's getting evicted from their old home, couch surfing at the home of one of their children, and trying to sue for spousal support.

Gordon And Sharon in an old picture. No Instagram filter needed.

This news is shocking to anyone who grew up watching "Gordon" on Sesame Street, but it's even more shocking to Gordon's neighbors.

Ernie: "Well, now it totally makes sense why he kept telling us not to get married. He kept saying, "You've got the cow, son, now milk him for all he's worth!"

Big Bird: "People used to accuse me of having an imaginary relationship with Snuffleupagus. Meanwhile, it's Gordon whose wife didn't really exist!"

Count: One! One! One big pimp on Sesame Street! HA HA HA HA HA! Zero! Zero spousal support! HA HA HA HA HA!

Oscar: In all seriousness, Sharon, as long as you have a trash can. You'll never be without a home. I can't believe Gordon, of all people...


Elmo: Elmo says... Elmo says... OK, let's drop the charade and get real. Gordon, screw you. You had a good woman, who loved you, and you wanted a younger hand up your butt.... What? That's inappropriate? ELMO SAYS GORDON WAS INAPPROPRIATE! 

Cookie Monster: Him want om-nom-nom new cookie! Huh? What mean inappropriate?




Follow me on Twitter @earnestp. I will tell you how to get to Sesame Street but not how to get out.