Are you tired of eating burgers from dead cows like some lame old person does? Well, you’re in luck! Scientists in London have grown a burger in a lab for you to enjoy!
Grown in petri dishes, the burger was given positive reviews by three food critics who tasted it. “At least it tastes of meat!” said one taster.
Boy, if there’s anything I’ve ever wanted from a positive burger review, it’s to be told it tastes like meat.
Well that doesn’t look disgusting at all!
So here’s how it is done. Stem cells from cows are put in some sort of nutrient broth (yummy…) and grown in a petri dish. These dishes are electrocuted so the cells bulk up. Once they are ready to go (it takes about 200,000 of these strips to make one 5oz burger), these strips of electrocuted stem cell meat are mixed with lab-grown animal fat along with salt, egg powder, bread crumbs, and beetroot juice for color, and bingo! Your burger is made.
Is your mouth just watering with excitement because I know mine is. Wait, no. That’s the watering that occurs before vomiting.
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Honey, start up the grill! These petri dish meat strips are almost fully grown!
The research of this burger costs nearly $400,000. Sergey Brin, co-founder of Google, is a major backer of the project being led by Professor Mark Post. Post stated that this burger is needed. “Meat demand is going to double in the next 40 years. Right now we are using 70% of all our agricultural capacity to grow meat through livestock.” He says we need alternatives and that makes sense, but don’t we have other options first?
We eat all sorts of animals as it is, but some we don’t for some reason. Why don’t we eat horses? Kids eat glue as it is, so kids are sorta already doing that. And what about hamsters? Hamsters are cute and small and could make a great hor d’oeuvre before a delicious elephant burger.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather not eat these animals. I’d like to stick to chickens, pigs, and cows like any good American. But part of me would rather just have humans eat every animal on earth before we start growing weird looking meat in a laboratory.
What do you think? If your option was to eat every animal on the planet or eat a gross petri dish full of fake meat, what would you do. And no, I’m not being biased with how I ask that question.
– Mark (follow on Twitter)