Science Wants You To Eat Boogers

Not so long ago, if you had a toothache your dentist might give you cocaine to make it feel better.  Doctors in the 50s and 60s would appear in commercials recommending cigarettes.  And now a Canadian biochemistry professor wants you to eat your boogers, because the establishment wants you to die and/or be gross and has always done so.

What could be the possible benefit of finger mining some skull sludge and chowing down on it for science?  As this HuffPo article states, Dr. Sticky thinks ingesting the germs trapped in our nose mucus could help train our immune systems.  Sort of a “whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and ensures women will never touch us” approach to better living.  Just look at this fellow conducting his own experiments;

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Those guys watching aren’t laughing at him, they’re laughing with him in celebration of his decision to invest in good health, probably. 

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The good doctor is looking for a team of health conscious but socially derptarded Canadians to volunteer for a study in which they’ll be exposed to a molecule of some kind, which is to say it’ll be jammed in their noses, and they’ll poceed to feast on the contents of their honkers for a set amount of time thereafter while their body’s response to the molecule is then measured.  Sounds super sciencey!

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Short of picking your own ass, there are few things you can do that are more objectionable than harvesting a crop of nose gold and sampling the vintage.  And the idea that it could help boost your immune system by exposing you to new germs is ridiculous and so easy to debunk you have to wonder if Canada gives out PhD’s in biochemistry to whoever makes it to class every day without being attacked by a moose.  If eating boogers made you disease resistant you wouldn’t see slimy, oozey kids coughing and dripping and hacking their way through everything all the time.  Kids are the most disgustingly sick people of all and they’re eating boogers like they’re Tic Tacs.  If their immune systems are benefitting in any way, it’s not obvious to the rest of us.  Maybe just try some Vitamin C and chicken soup instead.  Or maybe just end up on video like this dude;

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We’re no scientists here; collectively the editorial staff at Break have degrees in General Studies, Philosophy, Art History and Boobs.  That last one seems to be from DeVry.  Nonetheless, we’re all pretty confident there’s no good reason to eat boogers.