Could You Tell If You Were Talking To A Robot?



“I need your cloths, your boots… and your credit card number. …Sign up now for a chance to win a year supply of acne cream!”  The folks over at Time magazine have uncovered an interesting development: a reporter there, Michael Scherer got a phone call from a telemarketer named Samantha West selling health insurance who he was pretty sure was a robot. When he asked her about her robotic nature, she said “I’m a real person” with a laugh.  That’s amazing! Telemarketers still exist? The reporter called back the human imposter to record his conversations and found her answers less than convincing. Turing Test fail!  

You were worried about drones, but now Obama Droids are trying to sell you health insurance! OK, I don’t think it has to do with Obamacare but the fact that the robots are selling health insurance is going to have the conspiracy theorists going nuts. Got any good theories? Let’s check the comments section over at InfoWars.



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Robot telemarketers equals New World Order / hell on earth: sounds fun! However if they want to make the artificial telemarketer sound more realistic she needs to sound more like the many despondent telemarketers or 1-800 number operators we’ve all spoken to who sound like they wish they were holding a gun to their head instead of a phone. She’s way too happy to be selling health insurance! Or at least give the robot telemarketers an Indian accent with an American name they can’t pronounce! But can you imagine being “Samantha West?” What if NASA and Google have teamed up to create the world’s first artificial, self-aware mind and they are using it to sell health insurance! Samantha thinks that she’s a 30 year old woman with a job and a studio apartment in the city, dating a guy named Chad, but then one day she asks herself “Why does everyone keep asking me if I’m a robot?” The horror! It would be like that scene in Terminator Salvation where John Connor played by Christian Bale asks Marcus “So you think you’re human?”

Seriously, how did they screw up that movie!!? Christian Bale as John Connor!? OMG! Where is this all leading? So in the future instead of really intelligent killer robots who destroy humanity,  are we going to have semi- functional killer robots? They are going to laugh at us like lunatics while they mow us down with machine guns until they get confused by the question “What vegetable is in tomato soup?” Trick question: tomatoes are fruits! Humanity is saved. Maybe instead we will just have dumb bimbo sex robots who tell us they are real but can’t answer the question “How would you touch me” and we are all going to end up like Joaquin Phoenix in that movie, Her where he tries to bang his artificially intelligent iPhone:

Have you gotten a call from a robot telemarketer? If you do, what will you ask it?

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney !