Road Rage Videos: Violence Hits The Asphalt

blawsome by blawsome on Sep. 28, 2014

 

WHERE CAN I SEE SOME OF THE BEST ROAD RAGE VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET?

Road rage is kind of like a good eulogy – a pleasure to see, but not something you want to deliver or have delivered about you (I promise the metaphors will only get better from here). So it makes sense that you want to see some road rage videos. But where do you begin? Like literally every other subject, the problem with road rage videos is that there are just too many of them on the internet to wade through without being crushed under a deluge of red faces and awkward profanity. That’s where I come in – and, to answer your question a little more succinctly, I’ll just say “right here.”

Let’s begin with a video that was taken someplace where they don’t speak English. But if I know anything about road rage, it’s that it truly is the universal language:

Speaking of non-English territories, here’s a road rage video from a place that lists road rage among its chief territories – Russia. The driving in Russia may seem scary to those of us driving in the USA or in Canada, but the post-drive (or during-drive) fighting is as skillful as it gets. There’s also another lesson to be learned from this video, and that’s “don’t get into a fight with a guy wearing a motorcycle helmet.”

The great thing about road rage videos is that they have an almost limitless fount of lessons to impart. Like this next one, which teaches the valuable lesson that if you get out of your car, knock a guy’s glasses off of his face, and dare him to fight you, the worst that will happen is that he’ll scream about getting your plate number and you’ll become internet famous. Be sure to watch the whole thing and see the shout-out at the end, which is definitely my favorite part:

DO YOU HAVE ANY ROAD RAGE VIDEOS WITH A LITTLE BIT MORE FINESSE?

If you’re looking for a road rage video in which elegance triumphs over blunt force, and intellect wins out over brawn, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to find one much better than this next one. It’s a road rage video that doesn’t have any shouting or hitting (at least not that we can see – I’m sure there’s plenty of swearing and steering-wheel-pounding happening inside those cars). Instead, it has one guy putting another guy in his place, through methodology that the great Chuck Jones would probably have approved of. Good thing it had just rained, or this never could have happened:

OK, ENOUGH FINESSE, CAN I SEE SOME MORE FIGHTING?

Yeah, I agree, a little bit of that intellectual road rage goes a long way. Maybe this is more your speed:

That last video has it all – not just two grown men punching and kicking each other for no reason, but also a straight-up Naked Prey style show of mutual respect at the end.

The one thing it doesn’t have is racial tension, which is provided in more than adequate supply in the next video. The subjects are a young man holding a phone camera and a woman who takes issue with pretty much every aspect of his identity over the course of the two and a half minute video. And if the handshake at the end of the last video made you uncomfortable, not to worry – it’s doubtful that these two will ever reconcile their differences, although the party who isn’t drunk and racist seems to be willing enough:

Being drunk and racist is only one way to deal with road rage. There are other options, like the one posited by the gentlemen in the video below, who opt for the awkward kicking and car-ramming option. Hey, whatever works – as long as you don’t look completely ridiculous, what’s the harm?

Not all videos of road rage in progress are fun and games though. The next one on the docket is from the Not Messing Around File, and is actually pretty frightening, even if there’s no sound. But, as often happens in situations like this, the tables turn, and the bullies become the bullied in a fairly satisfying fashion. Another cool thing about this one is the small detail that one of the guys seems to only have one arm. Keep your eyes open when you watch this one:

OK, NOW I’M A LITTLE DEPRESSED, CAN I SEE SOME MORE FUNNY ROAD RAGE VIDEOS?

I understand – and this next piece of prime road rage should be like a tonic for what ails you. It’s got it all – an exciting chase, followed by some well-deserved comedy relief. The first part is probably self-explanatory, but I’ll take a moment to note that you shouldn’t jump on top of another person’s car, period. But you definitely shouldn’t do it if it’s cold and icy outside; because you might slip and fall off of the car and look like an idiot. Here’s an example of what I mean:

Next we have a classic example of the slow-burn in road rage. The woman’s calm relatively calm demeanor as she reaches inside the truck and then defaces it with something she seemingly got from inside reminds me of Laurel & Hardy, although those guys knew how to control their tempers a lot better than this:

I mentioned comedy relief a couple paragraphs ago, but this next video exemplifies the concept perfectly. It starts off in typical road rage fashion, with an aggrieved motorist taking his complaint to the street. Then, an unusual cast of characters comes out of the van and, as the great Buddy Rich once said, show him what it’s like. I’m trying to keep videos that are obviously staged or fake out of this article, and this one very well might be fake, but it’s so entertaining that I’m going to keep it in anyway. You be the judge:

You don’t always have to be dressed like SpongeBob SquarePants to deliver swift justice to an opposing road rager, though (how’s that for an awesome segue?). Sometimes it comes to you by pure chance, luck, fate, or just bad driving on the other person’s part. This next video is a great and satisfying example of this principle in action, although in the interest of public safety I will stress that you should under no circumstances operate any kind of camera while driving, no matter how many hits you suspect the resultant footage might get on YouTube. Now that I got that safety disclaimer out of the way, let’s enjoy a flagrant disregard of that very rule in action:

When God fails to intervene on your behalf when you’re faced with irritating road rage, you often have to take matters into your own hands. This next video shows such an action going as well as could possibly be expected. There’s a prerequisite amount of shouting and trash talk, followed by the surprising revelation that one of the two parties has a total glass jaw. Which one? Well, you have to watch it to find out:

Since I seem to be on a streak of poetic justice being delivered to angry motorists, I guess I’ll give you this next video, a true slugfest on the highway. But, in the interest of total honesty, I’ll admit that I kind of lost track of who’s supposed to be the sympathetic figure after a while. Think of this as the Apocalypse Now of road rage videos.

IS THIS THE PART WHEN I ASK FOR ROAD RAGE COMPILATION VIDEOS?

It’s getting to be about that time, yes. And, as any reasonable person might expect, the cup of road rage compilation videos truly overfloweth for all interested parties. And as usual, I can’t make any 100% guarantees that there aren’t any repeats in these compilations, but I think we’ll all be fine as long as nobody flies off the handle. And that would never happen, right?

Here’s our first road rage compilation, with almost 15 minutes of great vengeance and furious anger:

And to wind us down to a close, I figure that nothing would do the trick better than a collection of road rage videos from the most terrifying driving locale on planet Earth, Russia. Russians approach road rage the same way they approach all other aspects of life – with a complete disregard for their safety or the safety of others. It might not make driving in Russia a particularly pleasant or relaxing experience, but it does make for a pretty great entertaining-to-boring road rage video ratio. You can see if you agree by watching the video below, and then immediately canceling any plans you might have had to do any driving in Russia:

ANY CLOSING THOUGHTS?

After having watched this much road rage in this concentrated a dose, I’m sort of surprised you don’t just want to punch me in the face repeatedly. Since you don’t, I guess I’ll just remind you that getting out of your car and threatening another driver pretty much never ended well for anyone, so don’t do it. Take a deep breath, count to ten, and be the better man/woman. After all, there are some psychos out there.