According to the CDC, one in 6 Americans will get food poisoning this year. That’s 48 million people. Of those 48 million, 128,000 will go to the hospital and 3,000 will die. It’s also estimated that this may be extremely inaccurate as many cases are likely not reported due to bacteria taking several days to take effect and those afflicted therefore thinking they’ve picked up the flu or maybe just gotten too close to a stray, filthy child.
How do so many people fall victim to stomach bugs? Take a look the Tiger King Chinese restaurant in Portsmouth, England. Not only do they engage in practices like thawing chicken in buckets of water on the floor, their toilet has no seat and there is no sink in the establishment in which employees can wash their hands. Now imagine you call up the Tiger King to get some tasty kung pow and a guy who just squatted over a toilet to cut one off reaches his unwashed hand into this bucket to get your chicken.
What's the soup of the day? Dysentery?
Are you hungry yet? Maybe you need to see the toilet.
I don't want to play this game.
This looks like a trick from the Saw franchise.
The Tiger King also had mouse turds scattered across the floors like rice at a wedding and dirt and grime caked on pretty much every surface in the place because of course they did, the place didn’t have a sink so nothing ever got washed.. But hey, that’s just one restaurant in the UK, right? Is that kind of thing happening here?
Back in 2012 in Las Vegas, one of Donald Trump’s restaurants was hit with a staggering 51 health code violations including month old caviar and 5 month old duck breast on site, as well as “no measures to destroy parasites in undercooked halibut and salmon.” Basically, if you were eating there during that inspection period you were going to end up feeling as awful as Trump looks.
"There's no such thing as Global warming! Wind farms are evil! My show is popular!"
The Red Flower Chinese Restaurant in Kentucky was shut down after customers noticed a shady occurrence in back of the store – restaurant employees were dragging roadkill deer into the kitchen, in a trash can that was leaking blood. The only thing that could have made it worse would have been if they padded the can with used diapers.
When the health inspector arrived, restaurant owners claimed they had no idea they’d done anything wrong, which means it could have happened who knows how many times before they were caught. That dim sum you ate could have been dead possum or a transient’s foot.
In South Florida, the China City restaurant was shut down after inspectors found rodents and roaches on site. The next week the local news showed up and discovered buckets of chicken soaking in warm water in an alley behind the restaurant, the preferred method of thawing chicken to prepare the local delicacy Hobo Piss Chicken.
Florida sun and chicken? Mmm, salmonella-y.
An undercover investigation in the UK turned up “shocking quantities” of rat meat in London marketplaces. The rat meat was part of a 10 ton per day illegal bushmeat trade in the UK that health officials warn may carry things like foot and mouth disease and ebola. Ebola! That’s the disease that makes your asshole bleed until you die, do you want that from eating illegal sheep and rat meat? Hell no. And it’s not just in the UK – customs officials in the US routinely stop shipments from Africa containing illegal antelope and cane rat meat. So watch your farmer’s markets closely.
Pictured: We don't know.
A Pizza Hut in West Virginia was recently shut down after the store’s manager was caught on store surveillance pissing in the dish sink. Rather than walk to the restroom you know is on site, he just decided to sprinkle some wang dew across the sink where all the pizza cutters are washed, because maybe musty urine is the new flavor of stuffed crust.
Shake it three times and you're playing with yourself.
In New York City, any restaurant that scores a 28 or more during a health inspection gets a grade of C. They won’t give out a worse letter grade, even if you score a 98 (which some restaurants do). Last year, 361 restaurants scored a C grade. Another 35 were flat out shut down, making a total of 396 restaurants in New York you may want to think twice about. The typical violations that give a restaurant a C grade include things like roaches, mice, unsanitized food prep areas and food held at improper temperatures. This is at hundreds at restaurants in New York, and hundreds more in every major city across the country. Something to think about next time you head out for dinner.
For what it’s worth, nearly every Taco Bell in New York got an A (there was one B and one C). In LA, where restaurants are scored out of 100, the lowest score any Taco Bell got was 88. Most were above 95. So next time someone trashes Taco Bell, you let ‘em know it’s a wholesome, roach free, clean place to eat.
- Follow @IanFortey on Twitter. He loves you almost asmuch as he loves Taco Bell.