Porn Star Lisa Ann Announces Her Retirement Plans

Chronic masturbators around the world are mourning the end of a legendary career in the adult film industry. We’d rather not know exactly how they are “mourning.” Adult film star Lisa Ann, best known for playing a sexed up version of former Alaskan governor and vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin in Who’s Nailin Pailin?, announced that she’s leaving the porn business. 

This is probably the last time you’ll ever see Lisa Ann and her two co-stars on screen ever again. 

Lisa Ann posted several pages of a handwritten note on her Facebook page announcing her decision to leave the adult film industry. She thanked her fans for their, um, support over the years that she’s been in the business but she also assured them that she wouldn’t be completely gone from their lonely, lonely lives. She announced that she’s also working with “Fleshlight and Kiizoo [sic] on an interactive product that will give the world a brand new ability at a virtual sexual experience.” 

It’s ironic that she decided to handwrite a note to her fans since most of them will also probably be reading it with their one free hand. 

So what is she going to do now that she’s not in the sex film business? Well, she’s not heading off to the porn star retirement community where the players find all sorts of ways to make shuffleboard an interesting sport. She’s launching a new business called “The Porn Star Boot Camp” and she’ll devote most of her time to other great passion, fantasy football, that includes hosting a weekly fantasy sports show on Sirius XM. So she’s pretty much doing everything that every guy wishes they could do with their life, which means that professional beer tasting and Ghostbusting will follow those career choices. 

What was your favorite Lisa Ann film?

Sad  that she won’t be around to play “Slithery Hillary.”

Source: TRLA Official