Today in Florida: Man Pees on Women, Exposes Himself, Runs Off

Gainesville, Florida Police have reported seven cases of a man urinating on women near the University of Florida. The serial “urinator” as he’s become known pees on women whose back is turned, exposes himself to them and then runs away.  They have released a composite photo of the suspect, who hopefully hasn’t been drinking too much water lately.


Couldn’t make it to the bathroom in time.


Although to be fair, it would be hard to pee on someone without exposing yourself. So it’s kind of a catch 22 for this guy; once he made the decision to start peeing on people, he really made the decision to also become a flasher. He didn’t think that one through, now did he? Maybe he should have gotten a hose or a straw to stick down his pants and wiz through.  That way he would just be a urinating pervert and not be labeled a flashing pervert, which is a whole other level… come on use your head!


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Seriously, if you haven’t, watch the video at the top of the post, what’s up with that music?


I can see why everyone is pissed about this: peeing on coeds in college is normally only done by frat brothers on the weekends. This pervert is taking jobs away from hard working fraternity brothers who want to be the dominant pervs on campus!  


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And if you just happen to live near the University of Florida you might want to wear a rain coat until they catch this guy. Don’t let it bring you down. Make it fun!  Pretend like your attending a Gallagher concert, except instead of fruit being smashed on the front row, it’s some insane guy’s hot lemonade.

Follow Phil Haney @PhilHaney