Pimp Sues Nike For $100 Million. But Does He Have A Case?

ButtHurt by ButtHurt on Jan. 14, 2014



An incarcerated Portland pimp is suing Nike for $100 million dollars. And while he may not have a case, at least he has a point (maybe).

Sirgiorgio Clardy (which is the pimpy-est name in the history of big pimping) was sentenced to 100 years in prison for brutally stomping a “John” with his sneakers (for the record, he also brutally beat an 18-year-old prostitute). Now Clardy, who prefers trolling the legal system to getting sodomized in his cell, has filed suit claiming Nike was remiss in not placing a warning label on its sneakers stating that they could be used as a dangerous weapon. After all, how could he have known that stomping a man’s face in with a shoe would do him harm? He’s a pimp, not a psychic!

While the lawsuit is ridiculous, there is slightly more to it than meets the eye. During Clardy’s trial, the jury classified his shoes as “a dangerous weapon” in order to give him the stiffest possible sentence. Last time I checked, my Air Jordans weren’t a weapon (although to be fair, I have to take them off at the airport). Clardy also didn’t realize he was wearing weapons on his feet, and his ignorance cost him 100 years. As such, his lawsuit claims Nike “failed to warn of risk or to provide an adequate warning or instruction.” Basically, if his shoes are considered weapons, Clardy feels he should have been informed about it before he went around kicking people.

Granted, none of this is really Nike’s fault. The only one to blame is the trash-ball pimp with a long list of priors. But the fact that they classified his sneakers as a “dangerous weapon” in order to give him a harsher sentence is somewhat disturbing. There’s no question society is better off with Clardy behind bars, but what’s to stop prosecutors from using this same tactic against someone who is less deserving?

Does Clardy have point, or is this just a huge waste of time and money?

nickhar User

huge waste of time and money.  

LiftO User

laugh it up Americans...this guys institutionalized life + all his legal expenses is where all your money is going. His life will cost more then yours will. Super funny though cause hes a pimp haha. Merica.

Sam-Axe-363 User

is Clardy gonna have to stomp a bitch?

RiotSt4rt3r UserTop Commenter

Carefully place the money on the floor and run away. -Liberals

kpmcse User

Give him a ticket to Florida, a cell phone and a movie ticket

djemcee User

Our legal system allowed the idea that his shoes were weapons to alter the verdict/sentencing of his case.  The failure ALREADY happened, and the "good guys" were the champions of that failure.

Mausendk User

This is why I am happy I live in europe, where this kind of lame bullshit simply doesn't fly.

America, the whole world laughs at your legal system, but most of all we laugh at the ridiculous lawsuits you guys spend, sorry, WASTE, so much time on.

mascoma User

Just shoot him in his face...

Gordalinski User

That's like saying you are going to sue Swingline after you were sentenced to 100 years in prison for beating someone to death with a stapler. This will get thrown out of court almost immediately.

Taylor-Ryen-107 User

Interesting point. The guy used viral marketing to call attention to his case and potentially get his sentences reduced. Alright pimp.... 

asshole1000 User

This is not some unheard of thing. Its actually pretty common for shoes to be considered a dangerous/deadly  weapon in assault cases.

blisteringlogic User

Sounds like this is a perfect example of why you don't game the system in order to get a better result.  The chickens are coming home to roost.

niceboy_al User

Let's require background and mental health checks before buying shoes. Let's also ban assault style shoes with metal/hard soles.

Rich-Kreuzburg-545 User

I think that tactic will come back to haunt the jury / prosecution and will end up getting the sentence dramatically reduced. 

RiotSt4rt3r UserTop Commenter

@Mausendk Normally I'd put you back in your place... But this slag is right.

qalpha User

@niceboy_al   You can have my Redwings when you pry them from my cold, dead feet.