Peyton Manning Admits He’s Cashing In On Legal Weed By Selling Pizza To Stoners

Peyton Manning is a diabolical genius.

While he didn’t outright confirm that he bought up pizza franchises in Colorado in order to profit off the state’s legalization of marijuana, the Denver Broncos quarterback pretty much admitted that he bought up pizza franchises in order to profit off the state’s legalization of marijuana.

“Step Three: Profit!”

Weeks before the state passed the legalization amendment, the Broncos quarterback began purchasing Papa John’s franchises in the Denver area. It’s the next best thing to buying dispensaries outright. He just decided to leave that to Ricky Williams.

In a recent interview, Manning was asked if he votes for local officials. He does and, as a rich guy, he likes to educate himself about current issues.

“You try to know who you’re voting for… I’ve gotten to know some of the folks here in Colorado. There’s some different laws out here in Colorado. Pizza business is pretty good out here, believe it or not, due to some recent law changes. So when you come to a different place, you’ve kind of got to learn everything that comes with it.”

The stores owned by Manning broke sales records since legalization passed, with one location reporting a 25 percent profit increase. Peyton is like the Stringer Bell of the NFL, except without the child murder (that we know of…).

Aaron Gibson tried a similar move, but he ate all the profits.

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“I’m going to need more weed if I’m going to eat this garbage.”

The legalization of marijuana in Colorado has been controversial. When many users weren’t able to regulate their dosage, it lead to incidents of self-harm involving people jumping through windows. If Peyton opens the Peyton Manning Glass Company, we’ll know for sure what he’s been up to.