Roseanne Barr is that cranky aunt who no one likes, yet the family still keeps inviting her over for dinner during the holidays because she has no one else to spend it with and god forbid we just let awful people die alone. And just like that aunt everyone avoids, once you get her talking you’ll remember why no one ever wants to invite her – practically everything out of her mouth is either whining about “poor old me,” or a criticism on your cooking. Or in Roseanne’s case, it’s a bunch of racist imagery and words that doesn’t have any place in 2018 – case in point? Her tweet about former Obama adviser Valerie Jarett:
Come on Roseanne, that doesn’t even make any sense. It’s not even funny! Racism isn’t “cool” or “trendy” these days like it was back when you were born in 1755, but come on — if you’re gonna jeopardize your career, you might as well make it worth my while.
And because it’s 2018 and not 1818, saying racist shit in a public forum will get you in trouble. Not only did Roseanne have her television show cancelled, but she then went and tried to apologize by saying that taking Ambien made her act racist.
Now, obviously that’s a load of bullshit……but does that mean people haven’t done some absolutely crazy shit while on Ambien? Nope! The stuff either puts you to sleep or makes you staple cookies into your coffee table, 50/50. So while Roseanne is busy trying to deflect the turds getting (rightfully) flung at her from every angle, let’s take a peek at some of the weird shit people have found themselves doing after taking some Ambien.
Spoiler alert: none of it has anything to do with racism, being racist, or screwing over the entire cast and crew for your now-cancelled television show without any advance warning.
While on Ambien, people have…
I’ve taken Ambien and all I did was eat a quesadilla cooked inside another quesadilla.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) May 30, 2018
Ambien’s kinda pricey, so I popped some black market Claritin and am now feeling very racist about pollen.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) May 30, 2018
Now my dad claims he was on Ambien when he had me crucified.
— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) May 31, 2018
You hear that Roseanne? No ape comparisons here!
“We must build a world where everyone is treated with equal respect and opportunity, no matter their race, creed or sexual orientation.”
— David Duke tweeting on Ambien
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 30, 2018
Just took an Ambien so I should be asleep or racist (or both) in the next 30-60 minutes.
— Stephen_With_A_Ph (@sdurbin23) May 31, 2018
*literally kills someone* sorry i had ambien in my system
— gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) May 31, 2018
Ambien does not mean “am good” in Spanglish.
— Blow My Mind ? Free Graphic Novel (@AffinPub) May 31, 2018
*AMBIEN COMMERCIAL VOICE*
Side effects may include: nausea
vomiting, racist thumbs, loss of appetite, loss of TV show. You should not operate wifi connected machinery while using Ambien. Call a PR specialist if your racism lasts longer than 4 hours.
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) May 30, 2018
Clearly, Roseanne is off her goddamn rocker.