Jim Bob thought these were condoms.Today you can pry your eyes open Clockwork Orange style and fill your brain with a never ending stream of cat hoarders, robot sex fetishes and the everyday life of Florida. But there are still devoted maniacs out there dedicated to collecting bizarre things in actual brick-and-mortar buildings. Let's take a look at the 5 weirdest:
# 1. Icelandic Phallological Museum
This is not a Christopher Guest mocumentary.What started out as a gag gift of a bull’s penis turned into his life calling. Imagine if only someone had given him a set of stamps instead. The museum boasts every penile specimen imaginable including a “folklore section” dedicated to mythological penises such as elves, trolls and “The Nasty Ghost of Snæfell". I guess they couldn’t get a hold of Slimer’s penis.
Hamsters are the “George” of the animal kingdom.
#2. CapriTaurus Bigfoot Discovery Museum
If only he would come out of hiding and get his Nobel Prize.To advance the study and search for Sasquatch – or “Squatchin’” the museum features plaster foot and hand prints, the original, iconic 1967 Patterson-Gimlin film and details on local sightings. The museum promises that less than 50 percent of the “local sightings” are the museum’s curators running around the woods in a costume. You can even sit out back in the museum’s audio- video area and choose different documentaries about Big Foot to watch. This sounds way more convenient than watching them on Netflix at home.
Evidence is in the eye of the beholder, or this guy's beard.Sadly, unless you donate now the Big Foot Museum will have to close shop. With all the overhead costs, fighting the county for business zoning permits and Sasquatch grooming kits it’s expensive to keep running a Cryptozoology museum! Which is a shame, since busloads of school children should be taking fieldtrips to the Bigfoot Discovery Museum. Why isn’t Big Foot being taught in our schools!?
For only 100 Thousand Dollars YOU can make Big Foot real for this man.Visit the Big Foot Discovery Museum and keep the search alive, because you know what they say about guys with big feet. There is a museum in Iceland that would be interested in acquiring his penis.
# 3. The National Mustard Museum
It's not hoarding if you put it in a glass case and charge admission.
The Mustard Museum doesn’t just have old mustard, but new varieties you can purchase in its expansive store. Thankfully the founder wasn't inspired to create a Mustard Gas Museum. Levenson claims to have thought of the idea for the Mustard Museum after Red Sox lost the World Series in 1986 and he was disheartened, wandering through a supermarket mustard isle in the middle of the night. As if you had to be told the world's largest collection of mustard was the result of a terrible sadness.
#4. Leila’s Hair Museum
Not a Trap!Founded in 1986 by a retired hairdresser, Leila Cohoon, the “world’s only hair museum” has a collection of 600 human hair wreaths and over 2,000 pieces of human hair jewelry. Before photography many cultures would save pieces of hair of deceased loved ones, sometimes turning it into art. Now, “hair art" is a great way to focus serial killer tendencies in a nonviolent way.
Every day at the hair museum is a bad hair day.Patrons can finally look at the pubes of their favorite historical figures to find out if the drapes match the carpet.The museum even includes locks of hair from several celebrities and presidents including Michael Jackson, Queen Victoria, Marylyn Monroe, Ronald Reagan and George Washington. No one has the heart to tell Leila that George Washington wore a wig.
Receiving a bracelet made from human hair as an anniversary gift means your man wants a divorce but is really chicken shit.
#5. Vent Haven Ventriloquist Museum
It could happen!
Follow Phil Haney @PhilHaney