Halloween is over a week away, but for one family in Champlin, Minnesota the terror started earlier this month when they received a creepy note in the mail addressed to “Your Tasty Children.”
The unidentified parents of two elementary school aged kids opened the anonymous envelope and were horrified to see the message “The children look delicious. May I have a taste?”
Unfortunately these were not the children:
“Let’s all go to the toolshed. Let’s all go to the toolshed, and grab ourselves a weapon.”
As you can imagine the parents were horrified and quickly called local police. The parent said; “Obviously my stomach started doing somersaults.”
Apparently they did not share in the culinary interests of the author of the letter who I image lives in the woods in a house made of candy.
Damn lady, ever hear of lotion?
They also took to social media to warn other parents in their community that some nutter was interested in deep frying kids for Thanksgiving. Word of the kid cannibal quickly spread through town as concerned parents shared the Facebook post featuring a picture of the twisted letter and the message:
“To the individual who sent this letter…The answer is NO! NO you may not have my children in any way, shape, or form. And beyond anything physical you may NOT rob them of the security and comfort they feel. The trust they have in other people, or the joy they experience on a daily basis because of who they are. You DO NOT have the right to try to steal this from them by sending an anonymous letter trying to rip their world apart. I will NOT let that happen. What you MAY do, since you were so formal in your letter to ask, is you MAY turn yourself into the police, or you MAY seek help for your sexual and/or homicidal urges. Either way, the children of this community are off limits.”
Then the same family started receiving magazine subscriptions addressed to “Your Tasty Children.” Well at least the nutter wanted to get them to read- Wait. What a total psycho! I mean, who gets magazine subscriptions anymore?! They must have really hated those children to pay for a subscription to a magazine. No word on what magazine she signed them up for but if it was an age appropriate Highlights mag, well then that is just horrendous.
Luckily Chaplin police announced Friday that they found the culprit who admitted to sending the threatening letters to the family. 38-year-old Carrie Pernula who lives in the neighborhood, near the family in question says she was angry with the children for making noise and leaving toys on her lawn. I guess she was so angry she got hungry for human flesh?
The city is reviewing the case and will possibly charge this lunatic with “gross misdemeanor terroristic threats and stalking.” -So I guess bold kids will be daring each other to go Trick Or Treating at her house this year.
Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney