Open Mic Comic Attempts To Murder The Host With Baseball Bat

A man who had tried his hand at comedy by brandishing a dildo and a bible while calling himself a “vulgar Jesus Christ” bashed a fellow open mic comic with an aluminum baseball bat to the head. I’m not sure what Jesus would do, but I’m pretty sure it’s not this.

One of these men hit the other with a baseball bat, can you guess which?

If you have been to a comedy open mic night more than once you know it’s a total crapshoot as to the quality of “comedians.” Some people are legitimately funny and need a place to practice their material in a casual environment.  Some people just need a place to get up and rant and it’s cheaper than paying a therapist. …And some people need a place to get inside from the cold and away from the giant demons they see chasing them down the street.

Unfortunately for comedian Dylan Avila, who from all accounts sounds like a nice, funny guy who just wanted to host a decent open mic night; the latter was the case. Steven James Baldwin attacked Avila as he stood on stage about to introduce another comic at his Renton, Washington show. Baldwin hit him twice before other comedians and audience members rushed to the stage to restrain the crazed would-be comic. Comedians typically try to “kill” the audience, not each other.

Maybe he is so crazy he thought he was hitting Avila with this double sided dildo? Because that would have been kinda funny.

It all started earlier this past September when Baldwin hit the Seattle comedy scene with a bomb- thankfully not literally. The manager of the Comedy Underground described his “routine” as “It was just a bunch of schizo ranting into a microphone. This guy was just a total psycho. I had never seen anything like it.”

Hey, well that’s a reaction right? Maybe it’s a new Andy Kaufman style character to mess with the audience? Some people weren’t having it as “Jesus Christ” was banned from The Comedy Underground and other open mics and clubs around town for his crazy behavior on and off stage. Finally he found Avila’s open mic night where he again frightened audiences. After two of these horrifying performances Avila told Baldwin that he would not be welcomed back.

“I’ve never banned anyone from my comedy stage,” he says. “It was that bad. It was the worst thing you’ve ever seen—and some comedy is just awful,” Avila said.

At least Avila might have some good set material; “What’s the deal with getting hit in the head with a baseball bat?”

Apparently this last rejection sent him over the edge. During Monday’s open mic night he snuck back in to the show and hid with a baseball bat behind the stage before attacking Avila. Thankfully Avila is recovering well after undergoing surgery and having a pair of titanium plates inserted into his skull. From the hospital he says that at least hecklers won’t be able to phase him anymore:

“Anything you got to say to me on stage is nothing compared to getting hit in the head with a baseball bat.”

Friends and fellow comedians have set up a Go Fund Me account to help Dylan Avila who is a father of three young children, with his medical expenses. Hopefully he gets back to cracking jokes soon and not skulls- sorry that was too soon, but let me tell you about my cat.

Source: Vocativ

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney