Oh My God, Have Y’all Seen Beyonce’s New Hair!?

Break’s guest fashion blogger, Sandrah Wondel, writes in to discuss Beyonce’s new haircut.

Mark, Break Editor – Hey, Sandrah. I was told to call you.

Sandrah – OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD Y’ALL. You see this? You see what Bey did?

Mark (sigh) Yeah, I did.

Sandrah – Beyonce Knowles, Miss Jay Z, Miss Independent, just got a new haircut and OH MY GAWD IT IS FIERCE (SASHA STYLE).

Mark – Oh, it’s short now?

Sandrah – And blonde! You see that short blonde hair on Bey?

Mark – Yeah, I see it.

Sandrah – Bey is a fashion icon and this new move just launches her into history as a visionary, someone who takes broad strokes with her body while striving to perfect her body, her soul, and her art.

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Mark(rolls eyes) Okay.

Sandrah – This is similar to what Emma Watson and Miley Cyrus have done recently but Bey’s is just beyond a haircut.

Mark – Why?

Sandrah – Because, it’s like… Okay, you cut your hair, right?

Mark – Sure.

Sandrah – And why do you do it?

Mark – Because it’s too long.

Sandrah – No, you do it to make a statement.

Mark – No, I don’t.

Sandrah – You cut your hair in order to renew yourself! To shed an old skin and reveal this new, raw being. Bey has always been known for her long, sexy hair. Curly, crazy, puffy, straight. Her hair has always been long. But now? Now it’s short. And blonde. What is she saying? What is her soul conveying? Is this in anticipation for a new album? Is she making social commentary about the cost of hair care products and care products in general, like she’s saying we’re too vain? Maybe us discussing it is what she’s fighting against? Who knows? Only Bey and it’s fantastic!

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Mark silence

Sandrah – Hello?

Mark – I’m here.

Sandrah – Bey’s hair shocks more than just…

Mark – I’m sorry, but why do we care?

Sandrah – What?

Mark – Why do we care? This is news? Really? Beyonce gets a haircut and suddenly it’s news? It’s on CNN, it’s on Fox News, it’s on the Today Show. The front page of Huffington Post. Newspapers are reporting on it, showing the same stupid three images. Why is this news? Do you know what’s going on in the world, Sandrah?

Sandrah – Of course I do, Mark. You don’t have to talk down to me. The world is a huge mess and most people get that. But some people want an escape. Some people want to read about Beyonce’s haircut because it makes them forget their stupid, crappy jobs or terrible house or their car that barely runs. Some people love celebrity culture because they desire to be a part of that. Some people need an escape. Is that so bad?

Mark – No, but what does this say about the state of news when this is a huge deal yet America’s own issues are pushed underneath this?

Sandrah – It says that everyone in media is trying to stay on top and click baiting people into reading trendy news. Newspapers are losing revenue. Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, all those are losing viewers. They need to stay hip and trendy to court younger viewers and sadly, it’s Beyonce’s haircut that’ll get them the views they need.

Mark – But why pander to that? Why pander to the lowest common denominator?

Sandrah – Because we have to, Mark.

Mark – No, we don’t. We can be better.

Sandrah – Look in the mirror.

Mark – I am.

Sandrah – What do you see?

Mark – Myself.

Sandrah – So you see me.

Mark – What?

Mark – Exactly.

Mark – My God…

Mark – Let’s post a gallery of hot girls wearing Star Wars clothes.

Mark – Okay…

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– Mark (follow all of me on Twitter)