Oculus Rift Virtual Reality For Free Range Chickens!

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on May. 27, 2014

Using the virtual reality headset Oculus Rift and an exercise ball, an Iowa State professor has proposed a way to make all chickens “free range.”  Free Range chickens are chickens that are raised roaming freely and humanly on an open farm as opposed to confined to cages as is the case in a lot of factory farming. People who talk about the “pus in cheese,” being “gluten free” and cutting flavor out of their diet also love the concept of free range. Well now there may be a virtual loophole that is a win - win for both dirty hippies and evil corporate farmers alike.  

A human demonstrates the "Second Livestock" concept to enslave the chickens.

Austin Stewart’s “Second Livestock” – which is probably the only time in human history a nerdy reference to the multiplayer game “Second Life” has been used in relation to animal husbandry, creates a virtual world for caged up chickens to live in. Strapping a modified Oculus Rift system to a chicken, where it sees a virtual farm environment complete with grass, bushes and other chickens- Stewart believes will allow every chicken to live “free range.” The reason to buy millions and millions of Oculus Rift systems for chickens instead of just letting them all roam free? Stewart says there is not enough room for all those chickens running around!  It’s a much better idea to by all those tiny VR helmets, and set it up like an even smellier multiplayer gaming convention.

Now free range chicken advocates will have a free conscious while eating caged up chickens. However, I see one major flaw with this plan. Has the professor never seen The Matrix? A fuel source tricked into thinking they live in the real world while their bodies are trapped in cages! Sound familiar? These chickens will think that they are living a wonderful life, free in nature, not aware of the true horror of their existence, their bodies contained and fattened for slaughter. The Chosen Chicken will lead a revolution to break free from the virtual world of The Farm and discover the truth by eating the Red Chicken Feed!

Would you eat a chicken that lives like this??

Should we give chickens Oculus Rift to make them more comfy in thier cages? What's next giving human prisoners Oculus Rift so they can live out prison terms on the beach? What do you think?!

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24 comments
Jolie Determan
Jolie Determan

That is the DUMBEST idea for a CHICKEN. Let them OUTSIDE!!

Daniel Lopez
Daniel Lopez

Beware neochicken she will kick your ass

Christine Farris
Christine Farris

Is this The Onion? Pretty sure it would be cheaper to, I don't know, actually keep the chickens free range.

Jeramy Sanchez
Jeramy Sanchez

90% of people marry their 7th grade love. Since you have read this, you will be told good news tonight. If you don't post this on nine comments your worst week starts now. This isn't fake. Apparently, if you copy and paste this on ten comments in the next 10 minutes, you will have the best day of your life tomorrow. You will either get kissed or asked out. In the next 53 minutes someone

James Mary Day
James Mary Day

Cheaper to just free range the damn chickens and save the technology for people in prison so they think they are free and not locked up in a cell...

Break.com
Break.com

Why do the models they use in these photos look like librarians?

Josh Cannon
Josh Cannon

Alexandria Conerly Moseley what's your opinion on this?

Carl Llamas
Carl Llamas

A chicken is to stupid to die after you cut its head off. Give me virtual reality

Chris Renshaw
Chris Renshaw

Then a giant saw comes out from the wall and cuts all their head's off.

Alex Thomas Ross
Alex Thomas Ross

So this is what Mark Zuckerberg is doing.. Ahhh yes, i see it all now.

COHockey
COHockey User

What a fowl idea. 

Xzelick
Xzelick User

Why did you waste your time writing this?

spottmonster
spottmonster User

@Xzelick maybe he drew the short straw during the content meeting and got assigned an action item from the bucket of focus group ideas

PhilHaney
PhilHaney moderator User

If you don't think the fact someone wants to strap VR helmets on chickens interesting... Why did you come here? That's on you bro. VR helmets on chickens!