A New Bill Would Tax Porn And Also Turn A Whole Lotta People Libertarian

What the hell do people think “unlimited data plan” means? It mean NO LIMITS on the kind of data I want to consume, provided it’s legal, and frankly, they should offer a slightly more expensive plan that lets you break the law, too. Imagine paying a mere five dollars a month more for UNLIMITED anonymous death threats.

Well, we’re not there yet, and it looks like we’re moving in the opposite direction instead. Freedom-hating lawmakers—which I guess is a de facto quality of lawmakers—in a dozen states are planning a bill that would block porn on your phone unless you pay a porn tax, meaning that if you want to watch a video and fantasize about getting pegged, you have to get fucked by the government first. That’s just obscene.

Advocates of this bill claim that pornography addiction is both a public health issue AND that pornography addiction leads to an increase of human sex trafficking. That’s why they’re naming the bill the Human Trafficking Prevention Act.

Breakers, indulge me with an informal study:



It would work like this: all electronic devices would come equipped with a porn filter that you would have to pay a one-time fee of $20 to unlock. If anything, this will lead to an increase in human sex trafficking, since no one is going to pay for porn, and with no porn and a few extra bucks in their pockets guys might decide it’s more economical to pool their money and buy a sex slave. This is all just so obvious. Did they spend any time thinking about this at all?

Here's a link to the act's official website, which also lists its status by state and which lawmakers are supporting it. If you're the political type, or bored, feel free to call your local state rep and claim to be a deep-pocketed donor threatening to never give another penny if this lunacy proceeds. (And use a Southern accent so you'll sound like an oil billionaire. More believable that way.)