The World is Going to End in 15 Years. Sorry.

Ian-Fortey by Ian-Fortey on May. 21, 2014

The title of this is very glib, don’t you think?  It stems from an inherent disbelief in the veracity of the claim, and maybe a jigger or two of suicidal laziness.  And yet, what if it’s true?  According to a NASA funded study that takes a number of factors into consideration, the future of our civilization is grim.  Like many empires before us – Mayans, Romans, Greeks and more, it looks as though we’re heading towards a big, inescapable and catastrophic downturn, a result of many factors including economics, climate, lack of resources, too many Kardashians and the division between elites and the masses.  Eventually all great societies find themselves wrapped up in the same threads of decay and they crumble.  And our society is no different.

So, let’s say climate is an issue.  And even if you don’t believe in manmade climate change, don’t worry about that.  Just acknowledge that the climate is, for whatever reason, changing.  And the Antarctic is falling apart, amongst other issues, which are irrevocably changing the world around us.  The Elite, or the 1%, control the flow of resources and the rest of us spread out to infect the earth and strain it beyond reason by gobbling up all that sweet, sweet oil and corn (maize, if you will) and goat's meat.  We currently use resources faster than they can be replenished.  This trend will continue until we reach a turning point.  That turning point will be, for lack of a better term, the end of the world as we know it. R.E.M. was right!

Is the Earth going to blow up?  Of course not.  Will everyone die?  Not at all.  But it is possible, maybe even likely, that our world is heading towards a massive event, or more specifically chain of events, in which the basic structure of the world we take for granted falls apart around us like an IKEA gazebo we put together after a peyote and Thunderbird bender.  This will result in massive starvation, population shifts, the rising of sea levels changing the landscape around the world, the return of Must See TV and countries falling into economic and social chaos and probably a hell of a lot of death. 

It sounds crazy, right?  Impossible even.  But if it has happened to many, many great societies before us, what’s to stop it from happening again?  What are we relying on to save us? We haven't even invented hoverboards yet.

The study takes into account that we are living in an advanced technological age, but actually turns the idea that technology will save us on its head by suggesting it will make the situation worse.  By relying on technology we’ll ride our impending doom right to the breaking point, staring at iPhones and JCrews and Kcups while locusts eat our crops and grandparents.  And the Elite will of course manage just fine for themselves until the last possible moment while the commoners suffer and fall, until even they must succumb to what happens.

There are of course ways to ameliorate the problem, as it is presented in this one study, which involve better distribution of resources, reliance on renewable resources, all that kind of hippie stuff the left proposes and the right snubs.  It doesn’t matter because none of it will come to pass because no one will believe it.  No one will believe we need to make a change until it is too late.  As a species, we refuse to believe speculation, it's like a Boogeyman made of Loch Ness Monsters and female orgasms, can't possibly be real.  We won’t even believe observation if we can’t observe it firsthand for ourselves.  Scientists around the world, every single one worth their degree, will tell you climate change is real and an imminent problem that needs to be addressed.  Look how many people still don’t believe.  Look how people like Donald Trump will hit up Twitter during a snow storm and make a snide, scientifically ignorant remark about how climate change is a joke.  That’s how stupid we are as a species.  

Do you trust a NASA study that says in as early as 15 years our society could be doomed to collapse?  Would anything make you believe it before it actually happened?  And even if you did believe it, do you think enough other people would believe it to make a difference? 

Are we doomed?  And if so, ladies, do you want to make an unmemorable mistake with an online comedy writer?  Hit me up on Twitter!  @ianfortey

282 comments
Misha-Danilov-771
Misha-Danilov-771 User

Comes down to changing the values of our leadership by either organizing around a solution, around the fact that we're all starving or somehow get the smart people into power. If you don't want to organize, learn how to survive, hide and last it out. Either way, when the dust settles, its going to be survival of the fittest.

Anita Moseley
Anita Moseley

at least i wont have to work til i drop then....!!!! lmfao....bring it on

Terry Kahala
Terry Kahala

please don't judge someone's faith, especially if you have none. That's just pointless hate.

Katie Day
Katie Day

Don't tell someone quoting the bible that they have some sense. That's just silly.

Dennis Wesley
Dennis Wesley

A Looter's Holiday.........who could ask for anything more.

Craig Milton
Craig Milton

Thats like the 3rd time, gets more believable every time i hear it

Thomas Gault
Thomas Gault

Tom Wardhaugh let's start preparing NOW.

Yuuki Edison
Yuuki Edison

I hope it does I'm tired of trying to live life sometimes.

Travis Webb
Travis Webb

The world was supposed to end two years ago.

Kurt Christian Lopez
Kurt Christian Lopez

PLSS wake up!! Your in a comma for almost 15 years now and were trying to find a way to wake you up. If your reading this, pls dont be confused. we miss you and we love you ^_^ we hope you wake up soon ^_^

Reece Peter
Reece Peter

yeah we totally believe that even though you already said the world would end in 2013

Adam Loomas
Adam Loomas

Why does it matter. Get to work. Stop playing with ur self on facebook. Ur playing around right and ur by ur self rite. So ur playing with ur selves. Well or ur doing it wile u should be paying atention to something else. Stop playing with ur selves go to work.

KangLiao
KangLiao User

Conservitards are so stupid.

David Breydin
David Breydin

I've survived the end of the so many times, I think I'll b fine lol

Corson Wyman
Corson Wyman

George Carlin said it best "the world (Earth) is just fine it's not going anywhere... The people are f@cked. "Pack your bags folks we are going away. Mankind just another surface nuisance. The earth will shake us off like a bad case of fleas. The earth will then heal itself, cleanse itself as nature always does."

Virginia Hope Lynch-Lineback
Virginia Hope Lynch-Lineback

Lol I wish it would I'm tired of being an adult and paying bills. I'm also tired of having to deal with stupid people. I say bring it on! I want to ride on the nuclear warhead though lol

Olaf Pedersen
Olaf Pedersen

It will happen much sooner than that, and it won't because of global warming.

Eric Deane
Eric Deane

I call bs, X-Men changed the past for a better future

Lisa Oh
Lisa Oh

Whoever says that obviously hasnt read The Bible....It says NO MAN KNOWITH WHAT DAY.....The Chip is already around and will be Fully acknowledged in 2016.....so The Wolf in Sheeps Clothing will be here Way Sooner than 15 yrs from now....I dont wanna stay behind for any of That!...so Im tryn to Change the Way Ive been Walkn&Talkn& try to live the way God wants me be...cant say Im guna do it in a day or a week or a month, but Im gunna try...I wanna Be where my Son is...Heaven.....its not easy when People try2 knock you down cuz I Do have trouble Turning the Other Cheek...and have a Trucker mouth at times...so Ive got my work cut out for me...

Leroy Wilson
Leroy Wilson

I heard tommorow might be better..can you reschedule that shit

Ken Kim
Ken Kim

The sooner the better i say.

Gene Schoettle
Gene Schoettle

do u know they been saying the world is going to end for years and still nothing happen what make this right ?

Bryce Roberts
Bryce Roberts

Be careful with doomsday predictions, nobody has ever been completely accurate- so far.

Ken Carrell
Ken Carrell

All you citing the Bible are truly stupid. This isn't based on your book of fake bullshit. This is based on scientific research. Please take your religious bullshit somewhere else.

Bryce-Roberts-720
Bryce-Roberts-720 User

Be careful with posts like these. Nobody has ever been completely right with doomsday predictions- so far.

Clavus5150
Clavus5150 User

don't forget the infamous Y2K