Naked Woman Dancing On 18-Wheeler Stops Traffic

Naked people keep tying up traffic for HOURS. Why does this keep happening?

1. Naked Woman Sits On Top Of Big Rig In Houston, Texas

In our top story rush hour commuters in Houston, Texas were forced to let their employers know they were going to be a tad late to work this past Monday morning.  A 25 year-old naked woman sitting on top of an 18-wheeler truck tied up traffic along Highway 290 for over two hours. She gave gawkers quite a show.

Sometimes you’re driving and something lands on your car.

The traffic striptease began around 9AM after the woman was believed to have been involved in a three car crash. Instead of exchanging insurance information, with the other drivers she exchanged her pants for her birthday suit and climbed up the big rig. While the car accident hadn’t been that bad, the train wreck was just beginning.

The truck needed a good wash anyway.

She began dancing on the truck and after other motorists called 911 police and the fire department showed up to attempt to get to get the woman down. She cursed at them, ranting that the FBI and CIA were after her as she continued to dance.

Around noon fire fighters used a firetruck ladder to safely get her down, although the same might not be said for their lunch. She is not being charged with a crime and is currently being evaluated.

The worst part of this story is that it keeps happening! Over and over again people have been getting naked in the middle of the highway and holding up traffic for HOURS. These people at least need to take a naked Uber ride so the rest of us can get home! Here are some past nudists who held up traffic.

2. Man Gets Naked On Top Of His Tesla On LA’s Pacific Coast Highway

In April 2014 this unidentified man climbed on top of his $70,000 electric car and felt the warm winds of the Pacific Ocean against his bare bottom. Climbing in and out of his Tesla S Model’s sunroof, police eventually subdued the man. He held up traffic along the scenic highway for several hours.

3. Naked Man Causes Six Car Crash, Runs Down Highway

In August 2015 a naked man named Tracy Martin in Ohio caused a six car crash on the highway near the town of Blue Ash.  Martin crashed his pickup truck and jumped out of his vehicle and took off completely naked running down the highway. There were no clothes in his truck. The southbound lane of the highway was reportedly closed for HOURS.

4. Naked Man Sits On Top Of Car During Rush Hour In Connecticut

In July 2015 a man in West Haven, Connecticut stopped in the middle of Interstate 95 during rush hour to climb on top of his car completely naked. Police were forced to block both lanes of traffic while they coaxed the naked guy into custody. Local reports described traffic as “snarled.” Ugh!

5. Nude Dude Stops Traffic On San Diego, California Freeway

In December 2014, a naked man ran in and out of traffic along Interstate 8 in San Diego around 11AM.  OK, actually he was wearing his socks. After crashing his car into a truck, he ran from his vehicle completely naked and began darting in and out of traffic. Luckily police were able to subdue him before he hurt himself.  The situation backed up traffic for miles.

6. Naked Woman On Bridge Causes Traffic Nightmare In Sydney, Australia  

Described as causing “traffic chaos,” a woman in Sydney Australia in February 2016 climbed up a bridge and took off all of her clothing. Police were forced to close off streets for several hours around the busy city center.

7. Chinese Student Rolls Around Naked In Traffic

In February 2016 a university student was rejected on Valentine’s Day when he professed his love to his professor. The jilted young man decided the best way to make himself feel better was not with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s but to go out into traffic, take off all of his clothes and roll around in the street. Luckily for Chinese commuters that day, this stunt only held up traffic for a half an hour.

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney