Mystery Man Takes Dump In Middle Of Kitchen And The Whole Office Explodes Trying To Figure Out Who Did It

Little kids have the biggest advantage that barely any of them take advantage of: getting to shit anywhere you want without getting in trouble. Well, mild trouble – mom isn’t going to be thrilled when she comes home to find Little Betsy took a crap in her favorite teapot, but Betsy is going to get away with a little smack on the ass, whereas if you did that they’d call hazmat and arrest you for indecent exposure.

Guy Takes Dump In Middle Of Kitchen: A Shitty Situation

But one man was completely unfazed by the risks of letting his bowels run free with reckless abandon, as he went and took a shit on the floor in the office kitchen…

…and then watched as the entire place began eating itself trying to figure out who, why, and what the fuck?

Sadly, the CCTV footage revealed absolutely nothing and was deemed “inconclusive,” leading the office to slowly fall apart in its own version of Lord of the Flies:

Guy Takes Dump In Middle Of Kitchen: The Mystery Is Solved

Finally, some intrepid detective managed to figure out who took the mystery dump.

And in the end…

…it was the contractor who did it.

Let that be a lesson to you folks: taking a shit in the kitchen is not a good way to get your paycheck delivered on time. It is, however, a magnificent way to bring the productivity of an entire office to a screeching halt, so if you’ve got something due in a few hours and you aren’t ready, you know what to do.

[H/T BroBible]