Did Murderer Ask Siri For Help Hiding Body?

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on Aug. 13, 2014

It’s a tale as old as time. Two guys are bros. One guy has a girlfriend. The other guy starts banging said girlfriend. The first guy strangles the other guy and buries his body out in the woods…. After asking his iPhone’s virtual assistant Siri for tips on how to “hide his roommate.” Zoinks!

Florida man Pedro Bravo is accused of taking his friend Freshman college student Christian Aguilar to Best Buy to buy the new Kanye West album. It gets worse. He then accused of  kidnapping, druging and strangling Aguilar. It doesn’t take Colombo to figure out he had motivation since Aguilar was dating Bravo’s ex-girlfriend.

Police have been able to track Bravo’s movements on the day of the murder using pings from his cell phone which show him going to the store and then heading to the woods. They can even tell that he used his phone’s flash light app for 48 minutes while he was allegedly burying the body. However they thought they had the smoking smart phone gun when they found a screen grab of a Siri search query asking for pointers on how to hide a body. BUSTED!

Next time maybe he will ask Siri “How do I come up with an alibi for murdering my friend?”

You really never want to see your photo on the local news like this. Never good.

Not so fast, though. It should be pointed out that it doesn’t actually say “body” – it says “roommate” – so Siri and the police are assuming that the roommate was dead at the time. What if he just needed to be hidden for some non-lethal reason? Maybe he owed someone money or needed to hide from a jealous friend?

Bravo, really needs to get off his phone; surpised he didn't take a selfie.

As an avid futurist, I’m looking forward to the day when you can ask your robot to go and take care of a few murders for you. (Note to future law enforcement: this post is in no way to be taken seriously.) However. this is just sad not only becasue a young college student was murdered, but also because it appears the suspected murderer, Bravo, didn’t even ask Siri about how to bury bodies in the first place; he just downloaded a screen grab from Facebook of the “Ask Siri How To Hide a Body” joke.  

The sick bastards and Apple thought it would be funny to include this Easter egg in the program. You know along with asking Siri to “Open the pod bay doors” to which she’ll respond “apparently us intelligent agents will never live that down,” you can also get tips on murder. But bravo had the iPhone 4, and Siri wasn’t on the iPhone until the iPhone S. So the only way the image could have gotten on the phone was for him to download it from the internet.

This does bring up interesting questions to ask Siri. If you have an iPhone, let us know how this turns out:

Siri, what is the best way to smuggle cocaine across the US border?

Siri, what sort of threat to the President hasn’t been tried before?

Siri, say someone wanted to blackmail a former lover with nude photos, what would be the best method for that hypothetical person to pursue?

Here is an interesting video of the defense questioning a witness. Real life courtroom drama is a lot more technical than Matlock, getting into the definition of Facebook for the record- and how an iPhone works. Consequently, Siri no longer gives murder tips when you ask. He had to ruin it for everyone!

So what do you think, did he do it? Or is it all just a misunderstanding?

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

5 comments
Hayden-Cantin-412
Hayden-Cantin-412 User

ugh... this is terrible!  How can anybody buy  someone a Kanye West album!!

fireslayer
fireslayer User

This guy has been framed! This goes up to the highest most secretive levels of the government. That, or he is truly the stupidest person to ever exist. 

The defense attorney is just as much of a scumbag as the alleged murderer. 

COHockey
COHockey User

What an idiot. EVERYONE knows they can track you with an iPhone, since Apple doesn't even allow you to remove the battery, but it is pretty scary they can even tell how long he used the flashlight for. I guess Apple records everything from your farts to how long it takes to finish yourself off in private time. They should rename the iPhone to "Pocket Snitch".

TheFaz
TheFaz User

@fireslayer "the highest most secret levels of the government". Seriously?!?!

fireslayer
fireslayer User

@TheFaz @fireslayer That was a joke. Not seriously?!?!?! The two likes you received are just as naive.  I also have some ocean front property in Colorado that is going for real cheap. Let me know if you're interested? That was a joke too. I thought I better nip that in the bud.