This Guy Caught A Thief In His Mosque. Naturally A Hand Amputation Was In Order.

Mabul Shoatz (a.k.a. Merv Mitchell)

If you’re going to rob a house of worship, you probably shouldn’t target a religion that lists amputation as an acceptable punishment for theft. Earlier this month, a Philadelphia man learned this lesson the hard way.

Police say leaders of an Islamic mosque in the city’s Overbrook neighborhood tried to cut off a man’s hand because they suspected him of stealing jars money.

After a morning prayer service on July 14th, the mosque’s Imam and Amir confronted the man about the alleged theft. But rather than call the police like some pussy-ass Presbyterian, the pair dragged the man behind the building and attempted to cut off his hand with a two-foot long machete.

“They threw the victim to the ground and held his right arm against a log,” said police Lt. John Walker. ”One of the offenders grabbed a machete from inside the mosque, and struck the victim near his wrist. The blade cut through some of his tendons.”

That’s tough, but fair.

Police have since arrested the Amir, Mabul Shoatz, and charged him with “Aggravated Assault, Criminal Conspiracy, Simple Assault, Reckless Endangering Another Person and related offenses.”

Shoatz was previously known as Merv Mitchell until he heard the call to become a machete-wielding holy man. Before taking on his current career as an instrument of divine justice, Mitchell was a career criminal who was convicted of robbery, theft, and burglary, among other things.

The mosque’s Imam, described only as a 35-year-old male, has not yet been found. It’s also worth noting that the mosque's owner owes $80,326 in back real estate taxes. But given the recent altercation, I can’t say I’d want to be the one to try and collect that bill. (Source 1, Source 2)