Meth Sandwich, Van Gogh Pizza & Bad Restaurant Food Photography

Get ready for more restaurants that display amateur photos of their food in their window to entice people to come in and eat-  except, the result the opposite –it scares hungry customers away.

The Premise: Blurry, badly lit, out-of-focus, maybe shot with a disposable camera, or just plain poorly framed–there’s a certain art to bad restaurant food photography.

This photography genre deserves recognition from the art community – because the photos often resembles the work of famous artists. As we’ve done in the past, to show the artistic side of these hideous culinary portraits, we’ve recruited a famous art critic (name withheld) from ART FORUM magazine to critique each image. Grab a fork and let’s journey on…

TITLE: “A Whole Lot of Yellow”

ART CRITIC:  This work is truly influenced by Vincent Van Gogh’s 1889 painting of a field of yellow flowers. Much like Van Gogh, this artist offers a great example of understanding of and perception for the colors. Thus, while exploring a seemingly uniform subject – a pizza –  he sees and brings out enough nuances and small details.

MY TAKE: “Our food has jaundice!”

TITLE: “Aliens”

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ART CRITIC: This is truly as innovative as H.R. Giger painting with the distinctive stylistic innovation of bodies and machines in a cold, interconnected relationship, best described as “biomechanical”.

MY TAKE: Was this food brought to our planet by space aliens? Or could these sautéed creatures actually be the space aliens themselves- slumbering; waiting to awake and take over the planet? Only this restaurant owner knows for sure, and I’m too scared to ask.

Title: “Meth Mouth”

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ART CRITIC: The horrific effect that drugs can have on addicts have is disturbing. This restaurant only was truly out to shock the general public – but displaying his rendition of a meth addict’s mouth. If you haven’t, this is what it looks like.

MY TAKE: Kids, don’t do drugs – or eat at this restaurant!

Title: “Oil Company Tragedy”

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ART CRITIC: British Petroleum! Look at the tragic result of the gulf oil spill. This restaurant is displaying an excellent social protest to BP in their window – so all can see the harm the company caused the environment and wildlife.

MY TAKE: Did the restaurant owner run over this road kill on his way to work?

Photo: “Lobster Photorealism”

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ART CRITIC: This lobster is very much in the style of the photorealism paintings of Chuck Close. Its brilliance lies in that up-close it simply looks like a series of boxes – but from a distance it resembles an actual crustacean.

MY TAKE: Either the restaurant owner was too lazy to get a high res photo of a lobster served on his menu, or this is one f-ed up lobster. Seriously, if you’re going to take the trouble to sell expensive lobster at your eatery at least take the time to enlarge a 300-600 dpi image.

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