Meth Sandwich, Van Gogh Pizza & Bad Restaurant Food Photography

harmonleon by harmonleon on Jun. 12, 2014
Get ready for more restaurants that display amateur photos of their food in their window to entice people to come in and eat-  except, the result the opposite –it scares hungry customers away. The Premise: Blurry, badly lit, out-of-focus, maybe shot with a disposable camera, or just plain poorly framed–there’s a certain art to bad restaurant food photography.

This photography genre deserves recognition from the art community – because the photos often resembles the work of famous artists. As we’ve done in the past, to show the artistic side of these hideous culinary portraits, we’ve recruited a famous art critic (name withheld) from ART FORUM magazine to critique each image. Grab a fork and let’s journey on…

TITLE: “A Whole Lot of Yellow”

ART CRITIC:  This work is truly influenced by Vincent Van Gogh’s 1889 painting of a field of yellow flowers. Much like Van Gogh, this artist offers a great example of understanding of and perception for the colors. Thus, while exploring a seemingly uniform subject – a pizza -  he sees and brings out enough nuances and small details.

MY TAKE: "Our food has jaundice!"

TITLE: “Aliens”

ART CRITIC: This is truly as innovative as H.R. Giger painting with the distinctive stylistic innovation of bodies and machines in a cold, interconnected relationship, best described as "biomechanical".

MY TAKE: Was this food brought to our planet by space aliens? Or could these sautéed creatures actually be the space aliens themselves- slumbering; waiting to awake and take over the planet? Only this restaurant owner knows for sure, and I’m too scared to ask.

Title: “Meth Mouth”

ART CRITIC: The horrific effect that drugs can have on addicts have is disturbing. This restaurant only was truly out to shock the general public – but displaying his rendition of a meth addict’s mouth. If you haven't, this is what it looks like.

MY TAKE: Kids, don't do drugs – or eat at this restaurant!

Title: “Oil Company Tragedy”

ART CRITIC: British Petroleum! Look at the tragic result of the gulf oil spill. This restaurant is displaying an excellent social protest to BP in their window – so all can see the harm the company caused the environment and wildlife.

MY TAKE: Did the restaurant owner run over this road kill on his way to work?

Photo: “Lobster Photorealism”

ART CRITIC: This lobster is very much in the style of the photorealism paintings of Chuck Close. Its brilliance lies in that up-close it simply looks like a series of boxes – but from a distance it resembles an actual crustacean. MY TAKE: Either the restaurant owner was too lazy to get a high res photo of a lobster served on his menu, or this is one f-ed up lobster. Seriously, if you’re going to take the trouble to sell expensive lobster at your eatery at least take the time to enlarge a 300-600 dpi image.

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