Mom Roasts Son After Finding Out He’s Been Acting Like A Douche On Dating Apps

It all started when Michael Blanchard and Samantha Drain matched on Bumble.

As you can see, Michael is decently attractive but nothing to write home about. You wouldn’t call him ugly, but you wouldn’t turn your head to get a second glance – he is the McDouble of men, in that yeah you’d eat it if it was the only thing available, but ideally you’d go to Wendy’s or even Popeye’s instead.

As for Samantha…

…she’s hot. No fast food analogies needed here.

Instead of being a gentleman and spit some clever game at her after their initial match, Michael decided to go the douchebag route and not only call her fat, but tell her she’s “clearly a 5 at a push 6”:

Something tells me Michael doesn’t get laid. Ever.

According to Samantha, she had only recently become single and was not the most “confident” person to begin with. “It takes a lot for me to get the courage to just say hello to someone,” she explains to Daily Mail. “I let him add me on Facebook and he started following me on Instagram, which is how he saw all my photos. We did have conversations about meeting up but I still didn't know him well enough. We all have our own insecurities and he was just throwing them in face.” She then blocked him all social media and reported Michael to Bumble.

Shockingly, Bumble not only went and banned Michael from the platform, but they included this letter slamming him for being such a twat:

And to add insult to injury…even his MOM went in on him:

'Michael might say he is God's gift to women but he has only had two girlfriends.

'He is more of a blokey, bloke really. He is more of a lad. He is not really that interested in women.

'He is the youngest of six. He is the bottom of the pile. He didn't get away with a lot as a kid, as we'd have all jumped on him.

'He does have a good sense of justice, and a good sense of right and wrong. So I would be very sad if he had been disrespecting women. He has four sisters.

'I hope we are not going to have lots of girls throwing tomatoes at our door.

Is that what they do in the UK – throw tomatoes at doors of people they don’t like? And here I thought France was the weakest country.

As for Michael, he claims that the messages were actually from a bunch of his “highly intoxicated” friends and that he had “no control over those messages”:

'They were mostly funny and harmless but in this case it was extremely rude, belittling and insulting.

'I had no control over those messages that were sent through my account and had I seen what was written, would absolutely have stopped them from being sent.

'That being said, it was an irresponsible position to put myself into and what we were doing was completely stupid and has resulted in a really sweet girl being disrespected by dumb actions.'  

Translation: Michael’s foot has been forcefully inserted into his mouth and is not expected to be removed for the next decade or two.

Fuckin’ lads.